Fate : Season's Road
by Jyoohan
Summary: Come join us in this delightful tale of humor and mirth. Let us watch with smiles as we see them move through the changing road of seasons, each sharing a treasured moment we enjoy everyday. -See you next season!-
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 – And so it begins…**

Imagine a dark room. Not too hard right? So let's spice it up a bit then, try adding some shiny wood flooring. Almost like a stage. Then the classic red curtain drapes, you know, the ones you see at movie theaters or other places like that.

Moving along, a spotlight clicks on. A small circle of light now illuminating the stage, but it's still kind of plain, no? So we need characters… characters related to the story I'm about to write. Characters like Emiya Shiro and Archer, a.k.a., Emiya Shiro.

"Wait… what?" Shiro steps onto the stage. "You can't just suddenly give out information like that!"

"Why not? Most people probably already know that I'm just a 'future' version of you." Archer drags a folding chair onto the stage, unfolds it, and sits.

"What? How do they know?"

"Blame the internet, there's so much useless crap on it. People learn things they never really need to learn. Like how to make weapons with house hold products or grotesque acts of humanity. Sad really…"

"I see."

"Yes, but we're not here to discuss minuscule issues such as the internet."

"Right, wait… what are we here to talk about?"

"Didn't you get the letter?"

"What letter?"

Archer pulls out a white envelope with a stamped title: top secret, new project, eyes only. "This letter, I'd had it for a while actually. Couple of years in fact…" Unknown to Archer, the letters was technically addressed to both of them but… they're both Emiya Shiro and… let's not think too much into this.

"Regardless whether you were properly informed," Or failed to be informed at all, "The author has assigned us the task of announcing a… unusual project."

"Unusual? Why do I get a bad feeling from this?"

"Well to summarize the ten page long letter, the author has been going through a lot of stress between work, play, writing, self-studying to improve his style, and the list goes on. The point is he needs a medium to 'loosen up'."

"We can't he just keep playing video games?"

"He's kind of tired of that. He also wrote people on… Hay-loe two… are cheaters and bastards. I don't understand this part at all."

"You're not alone."

"Okay enough side-tracking, on to explaining the new project the author is developing." Archer tosses the letter aside.

"So let me ask, does this new project have a compelling plot?"

"No."

"Does it have nerve wrecking suspense, heart throbbing romance, and adrenaline pumping action?"

"Uh… maybe."

"Are we faced with an even more difficult challenge? Is this going to be another what-if scenario to be added in the Fate/Stay Night story archives?"

"You, calm down. He just wants to put all of us in a summer environment."

"What? Why summer? I thought it's currently winter."

"It's the month of June in real life, and it's hot as hell—so I've heard. The author decided to play around with a summer scenario and all kinds of different high jinks you young people can get yourselves into."

"Wait, this still doesn't make sense."

"He also says to just-… is he serious?"

"What now?"

"…use your imagination, or if that fails, these poor characters are trapped in an alternate dimension where I can control anything. Is he trying to play God?"

"You know, I wasn't really that nervous until right… about… now."

"You're too late. We're already in a place we don't know."

"Ah… true." Shiro and Archer take a moment to look around, an empty stage with only the two of them standing in the spotlight.

"You think the others are around somewhere Archer?"

"I think so. I felt Rin nearby."

"Tosaka? Is Saber here as well?"

"Why don't you go find her if you're so worried?"

"I'm not worried! Saber will be alright by herself, I think."

"Yeah, not worried at all." Archer couldn't help but chuckle seeing Shiro's nervous state. "Anyways, we should wrap this up."

"So we'll be going to the beach then right?"

"Beach does come to mind when you think of summer."

"Yeah, yeah, this might actually be fun."

"I'm still rather suspicious."

"What's with that tone? You're making the mood drop."

"Call it instinct, I can't shake the feeling that we're being set up."

"Set up? You're just being paranoid." Shiro picks up the letter Archer tossed aside. "Did you really read all this?"

"No, I stopped on the first page. I wasn't going to waste my time listening to this author rant."

"Oh? He's talking about Tosaka."

"Rin? Where?"

"See here? I saw her name when I skipped to the tenth page." Shiro shows it to him and sure enough, there it is.

"Wait… isn't this the blog update?"

"Not exactly, I guess he went side track again and talked about Tosaka for the last minute."

"Give me that." Archer snatches the letter out of Shiro's hands. "I really like her personality. Something about it kind of turns me on, I think it's that attitude. Real sexy."

"Um… Archer…"

"That aggressive exterior is just something. I can't really find the words to describe it, but it's not just her personality alone."

"Hey, Archer."

"Her pigtails are cute, too. Now add a mini-skirt, what more can you ask? Oh wait, almost forgot about the thigh high socks—can't forget the thigh high socks."

"Archer!"

"What?"

Shiro slowly points behind Archer's back. In that second, Archer felt a very sick feeling in his stomach, a feeling that he was just set up. Archer turned around, knowing who was behind him.

"Hello Archer." Rin had a disturbing smile on her lips.

"Rin… (gulp) did you hear?"

"Hear? Oh, you mean all that stuff you said about me?" Rin slinks closer and closer into Archer's face.

"If you will Rin, I can explain."

"So you can explain what you just said earlier?" Archer was leaning back on his chair, and Rin was in between his legs, her knee dangerously close to a certain spot. "You can honestly tell me, that you have a reason for saying all that?"

"Yes, if you would just listen-." Before he could finish, Rin shot him in the forehead with an energy blast, or better known as her Gand.

"Pervert!" Another blast, "Lecher!" and another, "Scum!" She charges up one more. "Good-for-nothing servant!" A final explosion bigger than the last, Shiro covers his eyes from the smoke and dust. Rin stomps away off-stage. Meanwhile Archer is holding his head and other aching points of his body, motionless on the floor.

"Hey, you're still alive right?"

"Black."

"Black?"

"I saw them. They were black."

"What was black?"

"… Hers." Shiro looked at him strangely, trying to figure out what he meant until it hit him. "You mean you saw her… down there?"

"When you think of mini-skirt or thigh high socks, you naturally think about that place. Plus, that last explosion kind of created some… wind."

Both didn't say another word. Archer however is unable to take the image of Rin's grandeur out of his mind. Those black laces forever burned into his mind. He didn't miss a single detail. His class wasn't archer for nothing.

"Hey Archer, how old are you?"

"Let's say I'm not a middle-age adult. I'm still kind of young as a matter of fact."

"Really?" Shiro didn't believe him, or maybe archer was right. "You know you were set up right?"

"No comment." Archer had a smug smile he couldn't hide even if he wanted.

* * *

**Fate-Summer Project**

**By Jyoohan**

**-**

**Original Creators**

**Type-Moon**

* * *

To Be Continued…


	2. Chapter 2

**Fate-Summer Project**

**By Jyoohan**

**-**

**Original Creators**

**Type-Moon**

* * *

**Chapter 2 – Swimsuits**

Ah, the beach, a fun place with lots of sandy sand and wavy waves. But there's a critical element a beach can't live without. That is of course: the swimsuit.

"Hah… it's too hot." Rin uses her hand as shade to block the sun out of her eyes.

"It's the middle of June so the weather is only going to get hotter."

"I know that without having you explain it to me Shiro."

Carrying a large duffel bag on one arm and a large beach umbrella under the other, Emiya Shiro looks like the spitting image of a beach tourist. He's modestly dressed for the summer season. Instead of his jean pants and long sleeve shirt, he's wearing a navy blue jersey and matching jean shorts.

"Shiro, can we find some shade soon?" The poor servant known as Saber tries to keep herself cool, but the summer sun doesn't show any mercy. "I never knew Japan's summers can be so hot."

"You're not used to hot weather Saber?"

"No, I'm not. I'm more use to the winters back in England. I've never experienced such levels of heat in my life." Saber wipes the sweat off her brow, but that's not enough. The long sleeve blouse she usually wears is already semitransparent in spots because of her sweat.

Before the group even made the trip to the beach, Rin had insisted on Saber to change clothes appropriate for today's weather. However, Saber was unwilling to change into her chosen clothes, saying it reveals too much of her skin and that it's shameless.

"I told you. You were fine in the bus, but you felt it the moment you came out didn't you?" Rin on the other hand was dressed perfectly for the summer. Adorned with a red crop top and a black miniskirt, she was born ready for the summer break.

But this is only the beginning. Just below railing lie sand, waves, and the bodies of hundreds of people in bikinis and swimming trunks.

"This is foolishness… how can those people walk around with such little clothing on?" Saber tries to look away but saw a couple of ladies coming out of a stall. She covered her mouth seeing one of them wearing a thong.

"Rin, where is this? Are we in another dimension or a closed space?"

"Calm down Saber, it's only the beach."

"Well I would like to be far away from this beach you speak of." Saber turns to go back to the bus stop but.

"Please calm yourself servant Saber, you'll get used to it in time." Archer places a straw hat on Saber's head and brought the last of the bags. He's also dressed for the summer themed environment, wearing red swimming trunks and a black muscle shirt.

"Oh, good timing. I need to get changed, even bought a new bikini for this day."

"Bikini?" Saber didn't know what the word meant. She knew the two terms of a similar word, swimsuit. Swimming is the technique to move your body across a large body of water while a suit is a diverse term of something you wear. But what's a swimsuit? Is it an array of clothing made for swimming?

"Come on Saber, it's rare that we have a chance to be at the beach. Let's just try to have fun."

"But Shiro…"

"Okay enough, you need to get changed. I can't stand seeing you in the same clothes today." Rin hooks her arm around Saber's and drags her to a nearby stall.

"Eh? Eh?! Wait! Rin, I-I'm not prepared for this. You're not going to make me wear one of those things are you?"

"Of course, girls are supposed to wear bikinis. Don't worry, it's nothing too scanty." Rin's laugh didn't help encourage or placate Saber.

"Shiro, please." Saber begged him for help, but he only waves unable to help her. Archer watched as well, showing no emotions while Saber disappears into the changing booth.

"Come on, it's not that bad." Rin rummaged through her bag.

"What… is this? You wear these?"

Meanwhile, the two boys didn't even look at each other, even though their present relationship was better than before. But it still felt awkward, these two never got along to begin with but now sharing a day at the beach together with their respective girls.

"Hey, I would rephrase that last sentence if I were you." Archer growls.

Um… excuse me, sharing a day at the beach together with the girls.

"Archer…" Shiro stops, unable to finish his sentence.

"… What? Were you going to say something?"

"Uh…" This was harder than Shiro thought. It's was kind of pointless really. Trying to jump start a normal conversation with archer was no easy task. "I wonder how Tosaka would look in a bikini."

Archer raises an eyebrow. "Is that all you have to say?" The white haired servant kills the conversation before it even begins.

Shiro doesn't bother anymore. It's not like he and Archer can suddenly get along just because they're at the beach together. But this is a good opportunity for everyone. For whatever reason, they got a whole summer vacation to enjoy at the beach at no cost. Things couldn't get any better.

"Wait! No, what are you doing?"

"We're getting you changed. Isn't it obvious?"

"I don't want to get changed! Stop it! You're tearing it!"

"These are my clothes to begin with. I can do whatever I want with it."

"No! I'm using them!"

Shiro could only laugh hearing the debacle going on inside the changing booth. People stared and pointed in their direction, and Shiro could only bow apologetically. Archer however was smiling, amused.

"It seems she resisting to the very end." Archer had to cover his mouth, so he wouldn't laugh.

"Don't even joke, it's not funny."

"Oh I find it very funny as a matter of fact."

It was too easy for Archer to get under Shiro's skin. The fact that the two were carbon copies of each other may have something to do with it, but one of them has a twisted nature.

The two girls inside sounded like they were raising hell. Saber would scream once or twice and then suddenly scream some more in a couple of seconds.

"Why don't you go help her? I think she would be more than happy to receive some help."

"Are you stupid? They're changing inside." Shiro wouldn't fall for such an obvious trick. He had his morals so there's no way he would barge into booth knowing Saber was inside, trying—but failing miserably—to get ready.

"Oh? You hear that Saber? Shiro says he'll help you if you ask."

"Shiro please, stop Rin! Stop her!"

"Is that such a good idea? He'd have to come in to help you and I already ripped your blouse. Oh, I got your skirt now."

"No! Wait! Shiro, don't come in, but… help me! Shiro! Rin Stop!" She cried desperately while Shiro stood outside, unable to do anything but listen to her cries. In an unforeseen act of sympathy, Archer gives his past counterpart a comforting pat on the back.

"Don't worry. The end result will be well worth it."

"What kind of comfort is that?"

"Comfort? Why would I comfort you? I'm just stating a fact. I'm more worried about all these beach bums staring at Rin."

Beach bums? Archer is worried about beach bums? Wait, he mentioned Rin, but nothing about Saber. Hm… there's something going on here Shiro thought. But looking around, there were a lot of people. Especially guys trying to pick up girls.

Oh! One just got slapped in the face. You can see the girls hand print on the guy's face. That girl can throw a mean slap.

"Please… Rin… isn't this enough?" Saber sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

"No-no-no! You got the knot wrong. Jeez, I guess it's simpler if we just give you the ones with no strings."

"Can't I just wear the Sundress? We're supposed to—."

"Be quiet and stop squirming so much." Rin silences Saber and continues her work.

"Wait, that's too tight. Ah! Don't touch me there. Kya! N-not… there"

Shiro was about to lose it. The flaming youth could already feel all the blood in his body going to his head. His heart was already beating twice its normal speed. Hearing Saber's familiar whimper was exciting him beyond his limit.

Archer watched from a short distance, seeing all this as a great form of entertainment. But he was also anticipating something, not that he'll ever admit it though. The stubborn nature he acquired wouldn't allow it.

"Come on! Hurry it up!"

"W-wait, you… we're not going out like this are we?"

"This is how everyone's dressed, you saw didn't you?"

"Just because everyone else is doing doesn't mean I have to."

The poor servant tries every means possible to avoid her inevitable fate. But with lots of push and pull effort, Rin finally emerges out of the changing booth. Her ruby red two piece bikini adorned with hibiscus patterns.

"You look good Rin." Rin froze hearing Archer's comment. A rare treat indeed, getting a compliment from him wasn't something you hear everyday.

"Hm, at least you have a good eye for these kinds of things." Rin giggled, showing off her picture perfect curves.

"Not really." Archer looks away as if he's not interested.

"What about Saber?"

"Oh, I almost forgot Shiro. Don't worry, I made sure so she wouldn't disappoint you. She's… right… here!" Rin had to drag the poor girl out. But the angel in his eyes was… flawless.

"Your hair… you let it down."

"Huh? Oh, yes, my braids came undone when Rin was… helping me change." Saber was receiving something far from help, but she couldn't find the right words to tell him. Saber had something similar to Rin's bikini. While Rin's two-piece uses spaghetti straps, Saber's cerulean blue bikini is hugging her body like a second skin.

"Is it strange?"

"What is?"

"My hair, I can get braided again if you give me a moment."

"No, it's alright. We're here to have fun so you can leave your hair down."

"Shiro."

Saber's milky white skin was dazzling, almost blinding. The way she carries herself, her posture, she's angelic in every way possible. Shiro had to fight back the urge to embrace or possibly jump on her.

"Ho-ho? Look like someone's happy downstairs."

Rin points at Shiro's pants, a bulge sticking out from it. He tried to cover it up but a little too late. Everyone had seen it, even Saber. Her face was already red enough but now her body is starting to turn red.

"Sorry, I got to use the restroom. I'll be back."

Rin laughed, watching Shiro run off. She was having way too much fun. Going to the beach with everyone turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened today. For the next few days or even weeks, there should be nothing but hot sun, cool oceans, and sandy beaches. Everything looked promising.

"Look what you did to poor Shiro. He didn't even look at you for one minute and he got so stiff—all because of you." Rin pinched Saber's cheek.

"P-please, don't say it like that."

"Why not? Aren't you kind of proud?"

"No, I wouldn't… do something like…"

"Like what?" Saber doesn't reply. Rin is twisting everything she says so no matter what's said.

"Rin, I think you've teased her enough for one day." Archer comes to Saber's rescue, and Rin glares at him. Not pleased with him ruining her fun, just when it was starting to get really interesting.

"Don't worry. You'll have plenty of opportunities to continue." This brought back Rin's mischievous smile.

"No…" Saber fell to her knees, dreading the bleak future.

* * *

To Be Continued…


	3. Chapter 3

**Fate-Summer Project**

**By Jyoohan**

**-**

**Original Creators**

**Type-Moon**

* * *

**Chapter 3 – Summer Homes**

Now an awesome, fun-filled, summer extravaganza isn't complete if you can't live in a ballerific house, or something close to one. In laymen's words, a really nice summer home.

"It's… plain." Tosaka looked at the three story mansion with malcontent eyes.

"You must be joking Rin. This is just like your house, if not better." Archer said while carrying his and her luggage.

"I know but there's no aesthetics. This is supposed to be summer, meaning to get out of the old house and into the new. Where are the sliding doors and glass wall windows? There should also be room for at least a thirty square foot patio. So many things that's just… ugh." Rin looked away disgusted.

"It's already late Rin. I advise way at least go in and sleep one night in the house." Archer tried to explain, but Rin was nowhere to be seen.

"There!" She hung a sign on the front door saying, 'For Sale'.

"Rin, let's be rational here. There's no way someone will come buy the house just minutes after you—."

"Excuse me, is this house for sale?" A man and his wife came up to the house.

"Why yes, it's a very beautiful home don't you think?" Rin was in selling mode. "It's quite new. Has all the latest home furnishings."

"She hasn't even been inside, and now she's trying to sell it off to complete strangers." Archer whispered to himself.

"Plenty of room and space for you Mr. and Mrs." Rin said.

"No, you're mistaken. I'm not his wife." The woman looked disgusted when Rin assumed the couple was married. The older man looked amused, chuckling to himself.

"Please forgive her. she doesn't act like this all the time." The man bowed while the other woman glared daggers at him. "My name is Li Syaoran and this lovely young woman is none other than Kinomoto Sakura."

The two couple stands out in their own unique ways. The man called Syaoran looked plain, but his composure was far from it. Just by looking at him and speaking with him, one can tell that he's calm, cool, and collected.

Sakura is much different though. Her auburn hair and green eyes make her seem beautifully innocent. But when one hears her talk to Syaoran, her childlike image shatters into a million pieces.

"Hey! You're not supposed to tell people my name!" Sakura slapped him in the back.

"Don't worry, nobody knows you well enough. Not one's the wiser." Syaoran said.

"And that supposed to make me feel better? Next thing I know you're telling people my pen name." She crossed her arms.

Syaoran stares at her for a long second, making her fidget. "I'm a professional. Do you think I would do something as stupid as that?" Sakura, knowing she's in the wrong, tries to change the subject.

"That's not the point and more importantly, do you even have the money to buy a house like that?" Sakura pointed at the towering mansion.

"Well I don't have the cash on hand."

"I can't believe you! First you drag me back to my home town, force me to live with you, and now you don't even have a place for us to stay? We're already a good hour away from Tomoeda!" Sakura gasped for air, exasperated.

"Um, excuse me." Rin averted their attention back to herself. "You can pay rent if you're not interested in buying."

Syaoran and Sakura looked at each other, debating. "What's your offer?" Syaoran asked prudently.

"50,000 yen ($500 estimate) a month." Rin said smiling, knowing that was an offer you can't resist.

Sakura gasped. Getting a house for such a low price for one month, this is robbery. Sakura looked at the mansion suspiciously, wondering if there's something wrong with the elaborate home.

"50,000 a month, you know there's going to be a catch right? For such a big house there has to be some kind of catch." Sakura whispered.

"We just got here, and we don't have much of a choice." Syaoran argued back.

"Who's fault do you think this is? 'You' planned the trip so 'you' should have taken care of this!" Sakura poked him in his chest.

"I'm taking care of it right now. Please calm down little flower."

"Don't you dare call me little flower you… you…" Sakura couldn't find her words.

"Just like an old married couple." Archer said dryly.

"Shut up!" Sakura blushed ear to ear.

Rin giggled, not knowing what to think of the couple. The two in front of her called Syaoran and Sakura was a sight to say the least. The way they bicker has a cute limelight to it.

"If you'd like, you can stay the first couple of days for free. We can arrange the payment at a later time." Rin hit the bull's-eye. Even Sakura had nothing to say when she could be staying inside such a lavish mansion with no cost.

"Come on Sakura, its late already. Do you want to book a hotel room?" Syaoran hurried her, knowing she was wobbling between the decision of going or staying. "It's for free."

Sakura's imaginary self tipped towards the staying side. "Fine! We'll see how the house is for a little bit. Only a little though."

Rin pumped her arm in victory. Archer on the other hand couldn't believe the house was actually rented off to these two strangers.

"Two healthy looking adults living alone in a large mansion such as this, sounds too much like some kind of cliché love comedy to me." Archer shook his head in disbelief.

"You, not another word!" Sakura's face was near its limit. It was impossible to tell if she was blushing because she was angry, disgusted, or exhausted.

"We are in no way related to each other. The only reason we are even in each other's presence is because of our profession. If possible, I wish to be as far as I can be away from this beast."

"Come on, since we'll be living together for a while, we have to get along." The beast tried to be friendly with her.

"And you, don't you even dare touch me! You will be sleeping on one side of the mansion while I'll be sleeping in the other."

"But it'll be hard to help you if you're in trouble."

"And what kind of trouble would that be?"

"I don't know. The house almost catching on fire?"

"Don't be ridiculous, like that would ever happen." Sakura waved such notions off. How could a fire start when she's a responsible adult?

"So with that settled, I guess you two are set." Rin clapped her hands.

The agreement was settled, and Rin won't have to live in such a boring house. Now there was a ray of shining hope for this summer vacation. Tomorrow was going to be a bright day.

"Yes and thank you. You can call me with this number so we can arrange your payment." Syaoran handed her his card. The card had Chinese characters and also his name in Japanese. The card said he was some kind of editor.

"Rin, do you realize what you have just done?" Archer said calmly, despite the seriousness of the situation.

"Yes, now we can go spend the rest of our vacation in a real summer house." Rin giggled excitedly.

"Well you forgot the most important thing. We don't have another summer house."

Rin froze, not realizing such an important detail. She just gave away her house to a couple of strangers, and what are the chances of finding a beautiful summer house at this time.

Rin cursed this summer fever. She got caught up in her own thoughts of having a great summer and lost track of the most important things. This is completely unlike her.

"Archer! Why didn't you stop me! This is your responsibility!" Rin began shaking the servant ragged.

"My responsibility? You were the one going off before even thinking about the consequences. This isn't like you Rin." Archer tries is vain to calm Rin down.

The two's current predicament is grim indeed. Rin has just sold her house for rent to a couple of strangers. Rin and Archer have no place to stay, and a handful of luggage that needs to be carried to the nearest hotel. Is there any hope for these two?

"Tosaka? Archer? What are you doing out here?" Shiro and Saber comes out from nowhere.

"Rin, it's unwise to wear your bikini at this time of night. You will certainly catch a cold." Saber drapes a jacket over Rin's shoulder.

Shiro and Saber were confused seeing Rin and Archer's solemn features.

"I have just made the biggest miscalculation of my life. I think it's this summer fever. There's no other explanation for my actions." Rin said.

"Rin, I believe it's best if we head back to the house before the food gets cold." Saber said.

Rin flinched hearing Saber. "Wait, what do you mean its best we head back to the house?"

"Back to Shiro's house of course. We left earlier than you remember?"

"You left to get lunch and never came back. I thought you two got lost or something." Rin perfectly recalled what happened earlier.

"Well actually…" Saber blushed and fidgeted shyly. "Shiro said his father had a summer home nearby. We ate lunch together and prepared dinner a little later." Saber wouldn't stop fidgeting while having a silly smile on her face. "We prepared a lot of food, too. I can't wait."

Rin is now confused whether Saber was acting silly because of the time spent with Shiro or the dinner awaiting them at home.

But that's not the point. Shiro should have said something sooner. It would have saved so much trouble. She wouldn't have to go through the mess she had just witnessed and brood over where she was going to sleep.

"That's right, I completely forgot about the other house. I guess it's natural since I haven't been there for such a long time." Archer laughed.

"Archer!" Rin jumped atop Archer's back and put him into a headlock.

* * *

To Be Continued…

* * *

Special Commentary

Hello! I would like to give a special thanks to "Kayjuli" and her awesome story writing ability. If you all are familiar with her story "Kokoro no Hon", you will all remember our favorite love/hate relationship between Syaoran and Sakura.

Originally, I only wanted to write something funny happening while the cast of Fate/Stay Night were trying to find "adequate" lodging for the night and thereafter. But knowing me, I let the characters bring the story out. And in a crazy turn of events, Rin rents out her house to Syaoran and Sakura from Kayjuli's fic.

The cameo appearance was fun since I loved the way Kayjuli portrayed Syaoran and Sakura. Sakura's near disgust of Syaoran and them trying to find a place to live was just too tempting to write, so I couldn't resist.

I hope the quality was up to par and everyone had a good laugh. And since I done it once, I'm thinking of doing other cameo appearances from other animes as well. So drop a line if one of you readers wants someone to drop in real quick.

Thank you for reading and another special thanks to Kayjuli since I wouldn't have even wrote this without reading her awesome story. Good night.

Link to KayJuli's "Kokoro no Hon", check my profile and it's under my favorite authors list. She's number 1, in more ways than one.


	4. Chapter 4

**Fate-Summer Project**

**By Jyoohan**

**-**

**Original Creators**

**Type-Moon**

**

* * *

********Chapter 4 – Mystery of the Missing Dinner **

It was a strange feeling. It was nothing dangerous or foreboding, but a strange feeling none the less. The house was dark and quiet like she had left it not so long ago, but a dark pervading presence was there, as if taunting her.

"Is everything alright Saber?"

"Wait Shiro, there's something strange here." Saber barred her master's path. She has to confirm whether this presence is a threat or not. And until she does so, she will not leave her master's side. Shiro's safety was her top priority.

"Hurry up and get inside already." Rin pushed past the couple, turning on the lights. Archer was right behind her as well, keeping guard.

"Rin, that's excessively reckless of you. What if the enemy was here?"

Rin muttered with a grumpy sigh. "We're here to have fun, not fight other servants; therefore, the house holds no threat to our current health."

"Wait Rin, you might have to take back what you just said." Archer crouched low to investigate something. Everyone gathered around him, and he picked up a dirty plate off the floor—the sauce still moist.

"Shiro, I had higher thoughts of you. You better not turn into a slob while we're on vacation."

"A slob? I didn't leave the plate there. Dinner was ready in the kitchen so I—."

"No!" Saber screamed at the top of her lungs. "That's the lemon pepper shrimp Shiro and I had prepared. And it looks like someone even licked the plate. What kind of monster would commit such an atrocity?" Saber cried, taking the plate from Archer's hand.

"Whoever the culprit was, it left an obvious trail." Archer pointed down the hallway, filled with discarded plates, cups, and eating utensils.

"Quickly Shiro, we must eliminate this fiend at once." Saber summoned her holy blade, Excalibur.

"Whoa, wait Saber. That's overkill. Put that thing away. It's probably a petty thief. Spare his life."

"No-no! He desecrated the food Shiro and I had made together… that we made together!" Saber screamed and flailed while Shiro was trying to hold her down.

"Good Lord, how much food did you make Emiya-kun?" Rin said amazed. Archer already had a stack of ten plates, fiver cups, and four sets of spoons and chopsticks. All the plates were clean without a morsel of food left except bits of sauce. Rin wondered what the kitchen would look like if the hallway looked this bad.

"There's someone here." Archer stopped at the doorway leading to the kitchen. He can hear something, like someone breathing… or… snoring? He carefully poked his head in and assessed the situation.

It looked like a storm blew threw the entire kitchen. Cabinets half open with pots and pans in disarray, Food and sauce stains dotting the once clean kitchen. It'll probably take the entire night to clean up this mess. Something Archer is not looking forward to.

He gave the others the okay signal and entered the kitchen together. Saber still held her sword Excalibur, and Shiro not too far off so he could stop Saber before she incinerates the poor soul at the receiving end. Saber's paranoia rubs off on Archer, and he summons Kansho, just in case of the worst scenario. He made sure nothing would get in between him and Rin. A loud bang almost scared the white off of him.

He turned to the source and saw Rin bowing apologetically.

"Sorry, I wasn't watching my feet." She blushed prettily.

"Saber, put the sword down. It's only Tosaka." Shiro begged and pried, trying to stop Saber from swinging her sword.

"But Shiro, you don't understand. I was so looking forward to tonight. It would have been the first time I have tried these new seafood dishes with you, and we would have fed each other like those couples in Korean dramas that Rin showed me." Shiro looked at Rin with a funny face and wondering what she had been doing to Saber's poor impressionable mind.

Rin looked away and shrugged her shoulder with a guilty smile.

"I think we have our culprit." Archer points out the large dinning table, taking up a quarter of the living room/kitchen area. Everyone can hear a faint snore from underneath the table. It sounds like a purr.

"Stand aside Shiro. I will cut them in half with a single blow." Saber approached the table and raised her blade. She was ready to slash her opponent asunder.

"That's quite enough for one day Saber." Shiro easily lifts her dainty body and was surprised since she felt light as a feather. It even kind of felt good having his arms around her waist, but she didn't.

"Sh-sh-shiro! W-what are you doing? Put me down this instant!" Saber cried whilst kicking her legs. She had never been lifted up like a mere child before. No man would have the nerve when she was a King in her past life, and this was unacceptable to her. She was not some toy anyone could pick up for their simple pleasure, although it is kind of fine since it's Shiro—wait a second, there can't be any exceptions.

This could be considered as sexual harassment. No one should dare to touch her in such an illicit way, but it is still Shiro so it's—no—yes—no—ye-… Saber was stuck in spiraling dilemma. But only if he would slip his hand a little bit lower…

"Rin, I have recovered our culprit." Archer pulls out a wee figure of an albino girl. The small child rubbed her sleepy red eyes and let out an embarrassing burp, which she excused herself after.

"Ilya? How in the world did you get here?" Rin couldn't believe she was here all alone. It would have been impossible for her to make the trip alone, so who could've brought her here? Ilya ignored all of Rin's questions and jumped at the sight of her big teddy bear—Shiro.

"O-nii-chan!" Ilya jumped into the air like superman, flying headfirst into Shiro, but Shiro still held Saber in his arms. He couldn't stop the airborne albino. If he moved, Ilya would surely crash and hurt herself. But if he doesn't, he would end up with a broken back or worse.

He already knew what to do. Shiro closed his eyes and waited for the imminent pain. And in the last second, he drops Saber and takes the full brunt of Ilya's tackle attack. Pots and pans fly into the air as Shiro was pummeled from one end of the kitchen to the other.

"Oh my… I hope he's dead." Archer couldn't see over the counter separating the kitchen to the living room, hoping his past counterpart has finally meet his untimely end.

"Onii-chan, onii-chan!" Ilya called for her big brother over and over again, not realizing he's knocked out from a concussion.

"That's enough excitement out of you." Rin lifted the little girl with one arm. "Ilya, tell me exactly what happened here."

Ilya looked at everybody then looked up at the ceiling, humming to herself, thinking. "Tiger dropped me off today!" She said with a cheery voice.

"Taiga is here?" Saber asked while attending to the unconscious Shiro.

"Yup! But isn't she here? Last thing I remember, I was eating lots and lots of delicious food and got really sleepy. I must have rolled under the table, tee-hee." Ilya said, playing with the hem of her skirt.

Saber's face grew pale, a glaze over her eyes. She lifted her blade, its point perpendicular to Ilya's heart. Her body couldn't stop quivering. "You… you ate… everything?"

"I was really hungry, but Tiger ate almost everything."

"You ate… all of… Shiro's… food."

"Rin, this isn't going to end well." Archer said, putting himself between Rin and Saber.

"So what if I did? What are you going to do about it?" Ilya's eyes turned cold, her magus tattoos glowing from under her dress.

"Such sins can't be forgiven even by God. You must pay child of Einzbern!"

"Hi! I'm back! I got this really big watermelon, Ta-da!" Taiga suddenly kicks open the kitchen door. Everyone freezes, staring at Taiga, but she's the one who's most confused. One of her students named Rin is standing with a tall dark handsome man with funny white hair. Little Ilya is glowing with strange marks under her clothes. And Saber is holding a rather dangerous looking sword, ready to swing down upon unsuspecting Ilya.

"Saber-san you should hold such a dangerous swo-whoa!" Taiga trips, and the watermelon she was holding flies out of her hands and into Saber's face. Saber falls back, her sword spinning in the air. Taiga moaned while trying get back up, but the spinning blade conks her in the head (the handle end), knocking her out cold.

Meanwhile, Rin, Archer, and Ilya watched everything like it happened in slow motion.

"Archer, what's that word when something crazy or stupid happens and it really shouldn't?" Rin snapped her fingers, unable to recall the word.

"A freak accident, a coincidence, summoning Saber as your servant."

"I'll go with freak accident." Rin kicked him in the shin and a good slap to the back of the head.

"What's going on? I'm so confused." Ilya looked so cute and innocent with her confused expression and big red eyes.

"It's nothing. Let's just get ready for bed." Rin guided the precious girl out the kitchen. "Oh and Archer, clean up, that's a direct order."

Archer looked at her with wide eyes, unable to believe she just dropped him with cleaning duty again. He slowly turned, not wanting to see the mess he has to deal with for the next couple of hours.

Tiptoeing carefully, trying not to make too much noise with all the pots and pans lying about. Archer sighed looking at the unconscious figures of Shiro, Saber, and Taiga.

"Damn it."

* * *

To Be Continued…


	5. Chapter 5

**Fate-Summer Project**

**By Jyoohan**

**-**

**Original Creators**

**Type-Moon**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 5 – First Summer Morning**

Another day, another dollar, today was just plain ol' day like any other. Psh! As if! This is a very special day. We can't have boring lame days cause it won't be fun to read right? So as usual, I have to put these poor characters through some of life most miserable—I mean—difficult situations… heh-heh.

It was early morning. The dawn chill is so cold; it sinks into your bones. And that's how Saber felt, quivering, trying to gather as much warmth as possible. She tossed, turned, and couldn't find any warmth to no avail. Or that's what she thought until she felt it.

Her fingertips felt a beaming sense of warmth, calling to her, beckoning her closer. Her body followed the call, yanking covers, and basking in its warmth. It felt so good; she didn't even realize she was touching someone. She snuggled as close as she could, not knowing what kind of predicament she was placing herself in.

"Breakfast will be ready in five minutes."

The word breakfast half-wakes her. Saber rubs her tired eyes, trying to remember where she was. Three sets of sofas and a coffee table, this is the second living room. How in the world did she end up here? She put her head back down on the pillow to think.

Now she remembers, last night was much too hectic for her like. All the delicious food was gone, and her relationship between herself and her master is still not progressing like she wishes it to. Life would not stop throwing obstacles in every other moment of her life and give her some well deserved peace (or action).

"The rice is almost ready. Just wait a little longer."

The voice was familiar. Her mind still muddled, Saber was unable the recognize who the voice belonged to. It probably isn't that important. What's more important is to find shelter from this ridiculous cold. How could it be this cold during the summer? Mixing hot and cold like this could not be healthy for one's health. Saber decided to stay in her sanctuary a little while longer.

"Sorry for the wait, here you are Saber."

Her mind woke up again when she heard her name; furthermore, the unknown voice now sounding much more familiar—especially during eating times. She turned over so she could face where the voice came from and froze. An inch from her face was Shiro, his steady breath tickling her.

"S-S-Shi-Shiro." Saber stuttered, her heartbeat racing twice, thrice, quadruple times its normal rate.

Shiro groaned and mumbled, "What's wrong Saber? It's tasty isn't it?"

At that moment, her eyes were locked on his lips, wondering if they really were tasty or not. Small and rounded, it was alluring with a glimmering sheen—through Saber's eyes. She licked her lips.

"Saber, are you alright?"

His face was inching closer, those lips creeping towards hers. Her heart wasn't prepared yet, the beating in her chest painful and erratic. It was too soon. She doesn't want it like this. She begged him to stop, but he doesn't listen. She blocked his face, stopping him but then realized something worse. She patted herself and didn't feel anything but bare skin.

When did this happen? How did this happen? Then it dawned on her. She… he… they couldn't have… _done _it, could they?

"What are you doing?" Shiro still mumbled. His hand's touching a soft place on Saber's chest. Her will broke and she screamed as loud as her lungs would let her.

Upstairs, Rin and Ilya fell out of bed hearing the hair-raising scream. Rin pointed her Gand around the room, searching for a threat. Ilya rolled on the floor, holding the growing lump on her head.

Rin stumbled out of her room, almost falling on her face at the same time. A surprise attack when she was least wary could be possible. The enemy may have gotten the better of her, or she thought. She staggered about and almost fell down the stairs, but Archer caught her.

"Wha-goin-on?" Rin slurred.

Archer quickly explains that he moved Taiga to a guest room, but he left Shiro and Saber in the living room. He didn't feel like taking them upstairs so he just made them comfortable in the living room. The scream may have originated from them.

They arrive and find a naked servant trying to cover her body plus a half dead master. Rin covered Archer's eyes so he wouldn't see the explicit.

"Saber, explanation please?" Rin asked.

"I-I-I don't know. We didn't do it. I think we didn't. I don't know if we did it. Did it. Did it." Saber stuttered, looking like she was ready to pass out any second.

Rin blinked, wondering of she heard Saber right. It's their first actual day at the beach and this happens. Things are moving too fast aren't they? The author must be crazy to even write about such a lewd thing. (No, I'm just bored and amusing myself.)

"Did it? You had sex?"

"No—o! Maybe… I can't remember. I would like to remember."

Rin almost fell down. To think that Saber has just taken a step ahead of her, it was unbelievable. She thought she had a couple more years before she can take this important step, but Saber beat her to it. For the first time (in a long time), Rin felt inferior.

"What's going on?" Ilya came in, wearing only her undies. Rin grabbed the nearest blanket to cover her. Ilya's silvery hair barely covers her… flat chest.

"Oh? Saber goes to bed naked, too? It's so hot, I know how you feel." Ilya said while fanning herself. Glad that she wasn't the only one with an unusual habit.

Everyone in the room never thought of it that way. On a second and more careful observation, they could still see the bottom bikini piece around Saber's ankle and her top half folded neatly next to her pillow.

"So what's for breakfast?" Ilya yawned then smacked her lips.

* * *

To Be Discontinued… (Not)


	6. Chapter 6

**Fate-Summer Project**

**By Jyoohan**

**-**

**Original Creators**

**Type-Moon**

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**Chapter 6 – A New Challenger Arrives!!!**

* * *

To be honest, I'm not quite prepared yet so let me think… so um… how do I do this? I really want those two to come in, but the entrance must be perfect. How about if they were chased by the mafia? No, those poor guys would die for sure. How about in the middle of a race… hm, that sounds good, but I should explore a bit more just in case.

Considering these two special characters, I have to make an impact to the readers. To have an affinity, otherwise known as moe, for them, but this execution is delicate. I think I will go with the race idea. Or something… irk… we'll just see, so anyways.

Without a further ado…

"Shiro, please." Saber's innocent gaze pierced right through Shiro's heart. Her petite form looking agitated, Saber moved closer to her master, wanting her treat. They were standing idly by a convenience store. Shiro's arms wracked with plastic bags upon bags. Probably on an errand for Rin or some other.

"Can you wait until we get home Saber?" Said Shiro.

The servant didn't listen, just staring with her round green eyes. She bit her lip, looking like a lost child, fidgeting. Oh, is this a tear I see? Yes, at the corner of the servant's eye, you can see a teardrop, ready to streak down her flushed cheek. Saber couldn't handle it anymore, resting her head on his chest.

"Shiro, please, give it to me." She said.

"This is not the place. Please Saber; can you hang on just a little longer?"

"No, I can't… wait any longer."

Saber grabbed a fistful of his shirt, trying to convey her urgency. Her body couldn't handle it any longer. She was past her limit already a long time ago. Her body felt numb from the waves of pressure. She grabbed her master's head so they were eye to eye. Her breath grown ragged, gasping, painting his face.

"Shiro… I… I…" Saber muttered. Her head's burning and her body's feeling anxious. If this continues any much longer, not even she knows what would happen.

Her knees buckled but Shiro caught her. He didn't think she would finally succumb to it. Looking at her weak form, he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Her pallid skin glistening with a thin layer of sweat, the slow rise and fall of her chest, those green jewels barely visible through the slits of her eyes, he had no choice.

Shiro propped her up. It was painful to see her in this state, but it'll only be a little while longer. He had hoped she could stay strong for a little while longer but this is it. He knows what he has to do.

"I'm sorry. I understand. This is what you want right?"

"Yes Shiro, please… please give it to me."

Shiro brushed back her unruly bangs, smiling tenderly. She smiled as well, seeing the object of her desires. Her pulse was slowly climbing, anticipating its flavor. When the lips touched hers, a wonderful chill ran down her spine—a pleasurable feeling. Its taste was filling every corner of her mouth. Her hand reaches forward, but Shiro stays her hand. Slowly administering her treat, making sure she enjoys every single drop.

He whispers into her ear, "Are you satisfied yet?"

Saber gives a slight shake, wanting much more. This wonderful feeling mustn't stop yet. A satisfying hum from her throat, her tongue was swirling the contents in her mouth. Savoring every saccharine taste, she couldn't control herself any longer.

Shiro tried to pull himself back but finds out he's trapped. Saber's powerful grip has him firmly planted, making sure to suck every bit of pleasure out of it. But it was over, the short lapse of bliss coming to a bittersweet end. No, it couldn't be done yet. She wasn't going to stop until she sucked it bone dry. Not until there wasn't even one single drop left for her parched throat.

Shiro tells her that it's over, but she won't admit it. It's not over till it is over she thought, sucking harder, slurping up every last bit. But alas, it really was over. The sweet sensation was no longer rolling across her tongue. The chill's running down her spine fading. But in return, something cool like mist was spreading inside of her body. Energy was returning to her petite form. The servant sighed happily, pulling her partner into a hug.

The heavenly sensation spreading from her stomach, to her arms and legs, and even to her fingertips and toes, but it felt a little strong. A small ache was forming somewhere around the back of her head. Shiro asks what the matter is, but Saber shakes her head, saying its fine. The small headache's already disappearing. She drops her head in the crooks of his neck, nuzzling him.

"Was it good?" he asks.

"Yes, it was delicious." Saber licked her lips. "Can I have another?"

"You can once we get back home."

"How about now, please?" She moaned. But he ignored her, easily picking her up and setting her back on her own two feet.

"What are you two doing?"

The pair jumped, a dreadful feeling, knowing they were being watched. Together they turned to find a very familiar face, or not. Her voluptuous body bound under a tight leather suit and pads. The long fleur of purple hair was easily recognizable, but they have never seen this person's lilac eyes hiding behind a pair of oval frames.

"R-Rider-san, is that you?" Shiro stuttered.

"Obviously, am I not?" Rider replied.

"Y-y-you weren't there the entire time… w-were you?" Saber asked.

"Of course I was here the entire time."

Saber almost fell backwards, like an invisible force pressing against her. She couldn't believe that another servant was nearby and watched such… such an… intimate spectacle between master and servant… even though she wanted it to last maybe nine or ten seconds longer. No-no, that's not what she should be worrying about. If Rider is here, then most positively that person would be here as well.

"That's right. Rider-san, is Sakura with you?" Shiro asks the purple haired servant, who points a finger behind the two, towards the convenience store entrance, where another purple haired figure stood horrified with a ruddy face.

Sakura shook her jittering face, denying the visceral scene her amethyst eyes had just witnessed. After all, her senpai wouldn't do such a shameful looking act. Or would he? In any case, she couldn't accept it. Summer comes only once a year and this was her time to take the initiative but… but… this blonde foreigner is in her way once again.

"How do you do Emiya-senpai?" Sakura's voice is soft, but her body is quivering erratically.

"Sakura, it's… good to see you. I didn't expect to meet you… here." Shiro looked at his underclassmen then to Rider, who was casually sitting on her purple/black motorcycle (Suzuki GSX1300R, a.k.a. Hayabusa. For the curious). "Did you ride together?"

Rider answered, "Yes, it was a long trip, so we decided to take a rest stop here. And to make things even more interesting, I see the two of you come out and act all lovey-dovey in public so flagrantly."

"No—o! This can't be happening!" Sakura, without warning, runs away crying.

"W-wait! Sakura!" Shiro was about to chase her, but the roar of an engine stops him. The revving of a motorcycle's loud engine rumbles, making the nearby store windowpanes shudder.

Rider shouts over the noise of her bike, "Don't worry, I'll catch her. We already know where the two of you are staying so that's not a problem. It was a pleasure meeting you again, Emiya Shiro." Rider slips on her helmet and takes off after Sakura. Her hair cracking like whips in the wind.

The situation couldn't possibly get any more complicated than it already has, also noting that two more bodies will be staying at the Emiya Summer household. And how did Rider even know where his house was? But now Saber's plans have gotten a few niches in it. Sakura's presence is sure to get in the way of any future endeavors, endeavors to get closer to her master of course. But today had its gain, even if it was a little embarrassing for the little servant.

However Shiro was perplexed as how this entire problem was aroused from a simple bottle of juice.

* * *

To be continued or not to be continued… that is the question.

* * *

**Story Spoiler:**

(I took a few odd turns here and there, I admit. I was going for subtlety and dragging the story out.)

(Also notice that the "thing" Saber tasted was always referred to as "it" and "it" wasn't Shiro or any form of him. It was the "juice". )


	7. Chapter 7

**Fate-Summer Project**

**By Jyoohan**

**Editor – Crazylobo**

**-**

**Original Creators**

**Type-Moon**

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**Chapter 7 – Slippery Solution**

**[Upon the Editor's request: Warning, you will never look at suntan lotion in the same way ever again, ever. Oh, and some sexual themes, reader's discretion advised.**

Suavely exposed bodies absorbing the sun, bright beach umbrellas providing shade, and the entourage of boys with their spongy eyes captivated by every curvilinear detail. The sandy paradise was a brand new world, there for the taking. The swell of waves relaxed the mind, and with a click, Shiro turned the television off. His body perspired with gobbles of sweat and his entangled partner, Saber, at his side. The pair stared at the ceiling fan, hot air only being circulated in their home, comparable to a sauna.

"Shiro… the ice has melted."

Turning his head at an oblique angle, Shiro peered at the bag of water that was once an ice pack for Saber. He wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of this heat and the irony of today's situation. Only when the heat wave hits them the hardest did the air conditioning unit fail them at their most perilous moment. The repair 'technician', he liked to call himself, couldn't make it until tomorrow. Another crushing blow inflicted upon the Emiya summer home.

It was the end of these two. Servant and Master were at their breaking point, ready to faint from the exhausting temperature in any moment, until a fresh breeze wafted through the household. Feeling the revitalizing wind, the pair looked up to see their Saviors, Archer and Rin wearing sunglasses. Archer held a large beach umbrella and some beach towels under one arm. In the other, he held a pair of foldable lounge chairs. Rin's weapons were a pair of suntan oil and sun block lotion.

Looking more carefully, they were wearing their swimsuits. The next few minutes were a blur, and before they knew it, Shiro and Saber were dressed in their swimsuits as well. Their view of the sky obscured by a rainbow colored beach umbrella. A soft moan suddenly caught their attention.

"Yes, right there. Go a little bit lower." Rin's voice shuddered, barely discernible.

"Right around here?" Archer's hand traveled where no sane man would go with a straight face, rubbing ivory cream over Rin's sinuous body. Ravaging her body from head to toe, she turned over so he could finish the job. Spurting the milky cream across her belly, he massaged the emulsion, covering ever inch of skin that was exposed. Her body shimmered from the sun's rays.

Saber watched with fixed eyes, imagining a pair of hands on her own, rubbing whatever kind of liquid all over her skin. A terracotta bottle caught her eye, then staring at her partner just a foot away from her. The idea was there, but her mind battled it out, garnering for control.

"Senpai." Shiro turned to the sweet call. His eyes fell on his underclassman, Sakura. "Senpai, I can't reach. Could you help me?" Sakura pulled the dainty string, undoing her bikini halfway. The exposure of skin, pheromones going wild, Sakura smiled, thinking that everything was going according to her plan.

The creamy substance contacted her skin, eliciting a gasp from the plum haired girl. The emulsion sent chills across her skin. Sakura didn't notice the hands weren't broad as a man's hand should be. And while the administration proceeded, she turned her head to take a peek and saw a silvery strand of hair visible in the corner of her eye. Now thinking suspiciously in her head, she tried to feel the size of the hands on her back. The hands were moving in small circles, doing nothing really, like they were playing with the gooey substance.

She turned and faced the tiny figure playing with her back. Ilya's fingers were sticky with the goopy lotion, and Sakura screamed, not knowing what kind of lotion or whatever the gooey slime was.

"Look, the world's longest snot!" Ilya pretended the viscous gunk was hanging out of her nose. Sakura's screams grew more frantic as she was chased down the beach by the white haired pixie. Thick goo caught by innocent bystanders as the pair strewed chaos along the Ivory Coast.

Saber quivered, feeling the oil touching her pallid skin. The warm liquid crept down her back like rich honey, but what she was waiting for was him, Shiro's hands. She didn't want to say it, but Saber wanted to feel his hand on her body. She wanted to remember the feeling of his fingertips brushing the sensitive parts of her body. A gasp erupted from her throat, scaring the boy. The physical contact was like hot iron, yet it felt so congenial, which caught her by surprise.

A small purr from the girl encouraged Shiro, his hands slick from the oil's thick consistency. As his hands spread the emulsion, her back arced up, guiding his fingertips, receiving a gratifying moan whenever he found her sweet spot. The initial nervousness now completely gone, his hand roamed her body, exploring until his thumb snagged the knot holding the bikini. Saber yelped, covering her chest reflexively. Words of apology thrown about randomly, Shiro was trying to redo the knot, but his goopy hands made the task more difficult than it should be.

"It's alright, leave it." Saber whispered, "Just don't do anything strange." The girl wiggled her body to get comfortable but also egged the boy on. If he were an old man, he would sure to have died of a heart attack by the way his heart was beating.

Finishing her back, he moved on to her arms. Saber played coquettishly with her partner. Entwining her hand with his, flashing a rousing smile. He returned the gesture by playing with her skin, especially the crook of her elbow. Tracing circles with the tips of his fingers, Saber's arm jerked from the ticklish sensation. Both laughed, Saber trying to fend off Shiro and his playfulness.

Down from her toes and ankle, Shiro massaged her thoroughly. His hands came dangerously close to her nether region. Saber peered nervously, unable to see where he was touching from over her shoulder. Gulping, she couldn't swallow the sugary feeling climbing up her throat. Closing her eyes, imagining where his hands were touching her. She didn't realize she was working herself up. His hands were moiling in between her legs.

"Saber, can you turn over?" She snapped her head, coming back to reality. "I need to do your front side." Acceding to his response, she carefully turned over; paying mind to her top that was undone.

His oily hands spread from her stomach down then up. Her eyes locked onto his blushing face, she wondered what he was thinking about as he touched her. When his hand would 'accidentally' brush her breasts, he would nervously look away. It was cute to the Servant, his shy demeanor. His task was almost finished, Saber, sitting upright, already applied some lotion onto her face, and Shiro was applying the last of it around her neck.

"No, get away!" Sakura ran by with Ilya close on her heels and bumped into Shiro, pushing the boy down onto Saber. Their faces less than an inch from each other, both didn't move, frozen in place. Regaining a part of his nerves, Shiro was about to pull away, but Saber wrapped her arms around his neck. He couldn't escape, their lips creeping closer and closer.

This was what she wanted. She wanted her master, every part, every bit of him. All of him, given to her. Through narrowed eyes, she could almost taste his lips. And when she knew in the next half second, everything would be hers… She sat up, the confined space she magically appeared in looking vaguely familiar. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she yawned and noted some details. The blanket and futon she was in, the moonlight filtering in through paper screens, and the deafening silence inside the home.

"Was it all a dream?" She grumbled, very disappointed with herself.

Her body giving off a warning signal, she picked herself out of the warm futons and made her way to the nearest bathroom. The sound of a flushing toilet a minute later, Saber stared at herself in the mirror, swearing to God the experience felt so real, so vivid. Touching her arm, she could still remember the way his hand felt on her body.

Splashing some more cold water on her face, Saber stared carefully into the mirror. She rubbed her skin, not recalling her complexion being as dark. Pulling her shirt, she peeked inside, finding only a patch of pale skin over her breasts and under her panties. The rest of her body had picked up a light golden texture.

_The dream or memory… was it real?_ Saber nibbled at her finger, confused. _If it was all a dream, it was a good dream nonetheless, but if it was real then…_

Saber tiptoed down the halls, passing her room and opening the door to Shiro's.

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See you next time…

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**Author's note:**

If anybody failed to notice, I was going for some shock value in this chapter. Throwing details out and using some uncomfortable words that I don't usually use a lot. Breaking down the barriers baby, could be the motto for this one. The walls obstructing my path to the pinnacle of writing… Okay that was cheesy.

As a parting word to the oh-so-unexpected-ending, go use your own imagination! I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that have their own ideas what can happen, and I ended like this for that purpose. Yes, I make evil laugh. Ha… Ha… Ha…

**Footnote:**

Jyoohan: Uh… I don't think any footnotes were required in this one. It was rather short, but fun, to begin with. Editor?

Crazylobo: Nope, no footnotes needed, I think! And whoooo boy, yes, it was fun indeed, LOL.


	8. Chapter 8

**Fate-Season's Road**

"**Summer Project"**

**By Jyoohan**

**Collaborator – Airbender**

**Editor – Crazylobo**

**Original Creators**

**Type-Moon**

* * *

**Chapter 8 – Vertically Challenged**

With the absence of my annoying comments that I type up before starting a chapter, I decided that I needed to add something a little more special to this one… other than the fact that most of you might think of me as an insane—if not terminally ill—writer after what you've read in the last chapter… so I think.

It must come to most people's attention that this chapter was up but suddenly taken down. Listening to Airbender, a.k.a. Rei, I have taken down the work and have completely revamped the story. This was collaborated with Airbender; therefore, a work by two writers, I believe. This one is for all those Rider fans out there. And without a further ado, I will present to you another tale of summer and the lives of those who are living through the most delightful colors of life.

--

The mating calls… whether they were cheap pick up lines or whistles, it was all the same: pointless. Not one person on this God forbidden beach had any sense of dignity whatsoever, immediately lolling their tongues out at the sight of exposed skins and sultry curves. Disgusting creatures they were. If only Sakura had not made her promise not to turn any of these insignificant blotches of human life into stone, the beach would have been her own private gallery by now.

Adjusting her newly acquired 'mystic glasses', Rider concentrated on her new book, eager to find out the ending to Harry's story. But the scum on the beach would give her no opportunity.

"Excuse me miss, would you like some company?"

"Hey there babe, what do you say you and me…"

"She is one fine piece of ass!"

Curses! Curse the beach, curse every male on this Godless planet, and most of all, herself. The cruel gods of old gave her this imperfect body. How she wished she was beautiful and small as her older sisters. Yes, just like Ilya, a petite form befitting herself and her true stature.

"You know I got the magic stick."

Tilting her head, Rider glared over the rim of her new spectacles, and the buffoon, who was foolish enough to touch her, stood frozen, unable to move his stiff limbs. Quickly picking up her things, she left the café before a curious band of people tried to help the paralyzed buffoon. With a sigh, she walked aimlessly and wondered why the gods were so cruel. Upon closer introspection, all the gods of Greek lore were sadists. Always playing with mortal and immortal lives alike as they pleased, especially Athena… that bitch.

Pausing a moment to calm her nerves, Rider dispersed such turpitude thoughts. The past was long gone. There were more promising things to think about like the present and future, but also occasionally remembering the fond memories of her sisters the most.

"Look at the size of her boobs."

Yet the present and future looked superbly bleak at the moment. Glaring over the rim of her glasses again, the nth victim was frozen in the silliest position Rider had seen so far. Although it wasn't enough to calm her growing aggravation, she did like the perk she had with her glasses, since it didn't turn anybody into stone and only left a temporary paralysis. She finally had a device on which to release some of her frustration.

Glancing at the book under her arm, Rider searched high and low for a spot where she would not be distracted. But every single place was infected with sleazy males, vying for any members of the opposite sex. Just right around the corner, Rider saw a group of males harassing a pair of girls. The dumb 'XY' carriers of the species seemed to be fuming.

"Are your ears filled with wax or does your brain fail to comprehend the simplest command? Really, sister, these dullards have no taste."

"Do not waste your breath. They carry the intelligence of a lemming and should also do us the favor of acting like one."

The tone of arrogance, words that gash deeper than any blade, it sent wistful chills down Rider's spine before she turned back around. The blockheaded group of males couldn't understand a word the twins were saying, but it was obvious enough that the twins were insulting them.

Plum hair bunched together into pigtails, milky white dresses laced in black, standing intrepidly with their short height. There was no mistake to Rider. These twins… but they couldn't be. No, maybe she's seeing things. After all, there are innumerable amount of people in the world. There's that one in a million chance of someone looking and acting exactly like her sisters.

"What are you-, unhand me!"

"Lechers, release my sister this instant!"

Rider did not feel her fist ball up, the blood draining out of her hand. She told herself that she had no reason to interfere. There would be a patrolling police officer or something that should stroll by at the opportune moment. This wasn't her business. There's no way her sisters would—

"Stop, where do you think you're touching? I'll kill-"

All of them men stood frozen, not budging an inch. Behind them, a purple-haired demon approached. The twins winced, looking away with every painful blow inflicted upon the humans. One caught a swift kick into the groin, some were tossed into the ocean, and one poor fool resembled a statue—only his head buried under the sand.

Breathing heavily, Rider suddenly snapped out of her daze. She slapped herself, realizing that she had suddenly attacked without thinking, but it felt good though. Rider tried to flee the scene, but the twins blocked her escape.

"Leaving rather swiftly are we not?" One of the twins said.

"Yes, I believe it would be discourteous if we did not thank you for your… unwarranted help."

"N-no, there's no thanks required. I just… it's nothing." Rider turned about face, making a beeline for Shiro's house.

"How rude, where are your manners, behemoth?" The twins followed closely, even breaking into a run when Rider tried to make a dashing escape.

"Why are you running? Halt, beast!"

"This is not happening! You are a figment of my imagination! You don't exist!" Rider screamed and covered her ears. This was all a trick. There was no way; they could not be her sisters. Taking a quick glance back, she screamed again, unable to deny the indisputable semblance they held.

"This is an illusion! So stop following me!" Rider gathered her strength and bounded building to building. She didn't care if she was seen, as long as those twins were out of sight. Why were they even chasing her to begin with? No, she must not ask that question. If she does, she would be admitting that they were… her sisters.

Jumping down into a shady alley, Rider sat still in the shadows and sensed for any noise or movement. Her heart was beating erratically more from restlessness than fatigue. She pulled out her daggers. Something moved behind her, in between the trashcans.

She waited, her breathe cut short. Without warning the trashcan lid slid off, creating a loud clatter of noise. A cat jumped out, disappearing as fast as it appeared. Dropping her dagger and chains, she fell to her knees and thought how cliché her situation was.

Yes, that's right, it was only a cliché. People think they've seen someone they knew, and it turned out to be completely false. There's nothing to worry about. Of course, she might have been hallucinating, since she did think about her sisters. Small resemblances might have alluded her into thinking those twins were her sisters.

That's right. It could have been the stress. Just minor coincidences came together, nothing more. Rider set out for home, banning all previous anxiousness.

"Wow! Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?"

The only problem that persisted was 'them'. Rider held back the urge to paralyze another victim. Her hands were eager to victimize another would-be 'player'. She used every backstreet she remembered to get home. Using the boardwalk would have been a gauntlet. There would be no end to all those disgusting perverts trying to play her heartstrings with no chance of success.

Opening the back door to the Emiya residence, Rider sneaked into to her room and changed without a moment's notice. There was a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt Sakura had bought for her. All she needed was some tea and snacks before she could unwind and read her book. The pigs interrupted her right when Ginny appeared.

"Rider-san, there you are. I'm so proud of you. I didn't know you went around saving children." Shiro said.

"Wait, excuse me, save?" Rider replied.

"Yes, they said you saved them just earlier today. They insisted on meeting you, and they are both in the kitchen right now. You should go meet them right away."

"W-wait, they are here, now? It can't be… I said wait." Rider struggled to escape, but Shiro kept pushing her towards the kitchen.

While being forced against her will, Rider wondered how they could have found this place. They should not be here, but there they sat. The plum haired twins gleamed inquisitively and whispered between themselves.

"Sorry for the wait. What's wrong Rider? Did you already introduce yourselves?" Shiro was oblivious to Rider's tenseness.

Saber's voice called out, asking if they were ready to leave yet. Shiro shouted back to Saber, saying he would be right there. "Excuse me, but I have to leave and buy some things for dinner tonight. I'll leave you two alone then. There are some snacks in the fridge, and I already prepared some tea. Take care of the house for me." Before Rider could stop him, Shiro left her with the plum haired twins. Her words caught in her throat.

"It would be wise if you closed your mouth."

"Yes, before something flies into it." The twins snickered. "Are you surprised to see us?"

Surprised, the word could not even begin to express how Rider felt. This is must be a set up; some cruel set up collaborated by the gods. After all her sisters have no reason to appear before her.

"Hm… he seems like a nice person, but such a boring face he has."

"He is much too gullible as well, sister. He invited a pair of strangers into his home without a question when we told him about the behemoth. Such a trusting person would get burned one day." The twins nodded in unison.

Rider knew she should have stayed quiet, but her protective nature interfered. "Please take back what you just said. Shiro may be gullible as you say, but he has a pure heart. So don't…"

Rider's speech fell short from the inquisitive stares by the twins. "So quick to his defense, is she not, sister?"

"I concur. Is there anything between you and this Shiro? You call him by his first name."

"D-don't be preposterous! There is no relationship other than the fact we are sharing this home." Rider denied.

"Ho, so you are living under the same roof? How bold of you. I wonder if there had been any lewd events taking place after nightfall."

All too much the same, how they take every sentence and turn it around in their favor. The plum haired twins bore a graduating resemblance to the memories engraved upon Rider's mind. However it wasn't enough to convince her, though she truly did wish they were her sisters. She missed them.

"I would not know something so personal. And besides, Shiro is already with Servant Saber." Rider said humbly.

"That's surprising. I did not expect him to have already acquired a partner. Are they close I wonder?" The twins thought of the possibilities.

"Well, my master, Sakura, has feelings for Shiro as well. She tries her best to get his attention."

"So there's a third? How deliciously unsightly!" The twins suddenly laughed.

"Third? What do you mean by third?"

"If what you said adds up correctly, there's the Saber Servant you mention, your master Sakura, and last but not least, you who are in love with him."

Rider's face burned a deep shade of cherry. With a stuttering voice, she said, "L… l-l… love?! No, no, no, you are wrong! I have no feelings for such a weak mortal."

"Oh my sister, I think we've struck a nerve. Calm down, behemoth, we will help if you'd like."

"Goodness me, that sounds like a marvelous idea. And I think I have the perfect plan, too."

Rider listened with rapt ears, blushing deeper and deeper with every tantalizing detail. The twins pointed out many different schemes and ploys. One was to seduce to boy by pulling his face into Rider's plump breasts, sure to send the boy spiraling into a whirlpool of temptation.

Another sly ruse was to sneak into Shiro's room then entice him like a succubus, mashing her provocative bosom all over his body, touching his sleek manhood, and stealing a sinuous kiss. Rider listened with rapt ears, blushing deeper and deeper with every tantalizing detail, ready to faint from such obscene thoughts.

Again, she slapped herself out of the twin's twisted reverie. Clearing her throat, Rider ordered the twins to stop such lurid behaviors. The duo stared back with a blasé expression as Rider exclaimed that children should act as innocent children should.

"You are gravely mistaken if you think we are little children."

"Would an innocent child speak so openly about reproduction unless there's something more behind the child's mask?"

"Wait sister, I have a better idea. Since the behemoth is so unwilling to strike the iron while it's hot. Why not take that boy for ourselves? I think he would be a fun toy for us to play with."

"No! You can't do that." Rider cried out.

The twins again stared at her skeptically and asked why they couldn't steal the boy right from under their noses. After all, Shiro doesn't seem to have any interest in 'well-developed' areas of the body. The twins even suggested that Shiro was a lolicon. Rider vehemently denied it; however, the shoji screen slid open to reveal Ilya.

"Rider, where's big brother?" Ilya asked.

"He went to buy some things for dinner with Saber." Rider replied. With an accepting nod, Ilya aptly left but also destroyed Rider's constructive criticism.

"She said big brother. They look nothing alike. Does Shiro have a little sister fetish? This will be easy pickings."

"Truly, I'm sure we can think of many things to do with our new plaything."

Plaything, the word was like a trigger inside the deepest corner of Rider's mind. The haunting recollections that still plague her today, Rider gripped her head. Her heart was beating rapidly. Rider's psyche tried to protect her by further clouding her suppressed memories.

Wait, this wasn't the time to be freaking out. Shiro was in grave danger. The twins, they would surely do unspeakable things to the poor boy. Rider clenched her jaw, undoubtedly regretting what she was about to do.

"Wait! You can't do that!" Rider shouted inexplicably.

"Ho, the behemoth speaks. What ever do you mean by, you can't do that?" The twins said in unison.

"It's just as I said, you can't do… that." Rider sputtered.

The twins beamed at her, already beginning their perfect mind games. Slyly, the twins coaxed her. "Why do you impede us? What gives you the right to stop him from making Shiro ours?"

"B-b-because! Um…" Rider bit her lip, asking heaven and hell to swallow her. "Because I love him!"

"Love who?"

"I love Shiro! You can't take him because I will make him mine!"

"Continue, how will you make him yours?"

"Because we uh… we sleep together every night." Rider huffed without thinking twice.

"… naked?" The twins said, grinning.

Rider did her best to ignore the twin's added commentary and continued, "We share our comforts together in the darkness of night (while moaning!), intermingling in our love nest (as we touched!). We have an unbreakable bond that cannot be severed even by the gods! (Swaying in our pleasure, evermore!) Stop that doing that!"

"Doing what?"

"That thing, what you just (keep making love to me!) That—please stop it!"

Crinkle of plastic bags, the hairs on the back of Rider's neck stood up. A grim feeling dawned on her shoulders. Slowly turning her head, her eyes came upon the pair who had just came back home from grocery shopping.

Everybody's jaws, except the twins, dropped open, for their own special reasons. Shiro began to creep away, while Saber clung onto his arm protectively. However the blonde servant looked too disturbed to be any kind of guardian.

Rider wished someone would kill her on the spot. Her life as she knew it had just ended.

The twins couldn't hold their giggling mirth and busted out laughing. They did not expect it to spiral so out of control. It fulfilled all of their expectations, no, went above and beyond even.

Rider's mind screamed one thing over and over inside her head. It took a minute before her limbs received the order: run away!

Crashing through the sliding doors, Rider bounded over the wall and disappeared from the Emiya residence. There were tears of shame spouting from her eyes as she cried out methodically into the night.

"I could not believe how much explicit detail the behemoth delved into!"

"Yes, our teasing has reached a new level today. How I missed this feeling so." The twins held hands and sighed, out of breath.

"Y-y-you… what did you do?" Shiro stuttered.

The twins waved it off, saying that it wasn't anything special. Shiro, of course, didn't buy such lies. Rider was obviously hurt, and the only ones that could have done her wrong were—

"Don't worry, she always runs off but surely returns by the hour."

The twins got up to leave, and Shiro and Saber followed suit. They tried to ask the twins what exactly happened, but the twins ignored their questions and said.

"Yes, it's nothing to be worried about. Some weird boy said our sister was lonely. We were a little worried and came to visit; however, she is not lonely at all." The twins said, sighing in disappointment.

Shiro and Saber gawked, unable to conjure up a response.

"And if you would be so kind, would you take a message for us? Tell our sister that our first meeting in such a long time was wonderful. We hope to see her again, from Euryale and Stheno." The twins said in unison. And with a click, the front door closed.

Shiro reopened the door. The setting sun blinded him for a moment.

Their voices faded, like a dying whisper. "Take good care of her for us, farewell."

Saber stood by Shiro, trying to sense any nearby presence. There were none.

The sun having disappeared over the horizon, Rider bounded from rooftop to rooftop. Sniffling, she wasn't careful and missed her landing, but it didn't matter anymore. The Servant waited for the unforgiving concrete, before something—or rather—someone else caught her.

With a loud thud and a groan, Rider blinked, wondering whose voice the groan belonged to.

"What the hell you bi—" Crimson eyes stared like saucer plates, "I think I caught an angel that fell out of heaven."

_Disgusting men, they're all the same,_ thought Rider

"Whoa-whoa, where do you think you're going?" The blue figure caught her again before she could escape. "You should at least have the manners to apologize for using someone as a landing cushion."

"I'm sorry, so please then, release me."

"What's the rush? Since you're so sorry, why not treat me to dinner?"

"Me? Treat you? Why would I—"

"Or would you give me the pleasure of treating you?"

Rider snapped her mouth shut, unable to think of a reply.

* * *

Plays dead… until the next chapter is released.

* * *

Trumpet blare!!!

The debut of (drum roll) "Fate: Season's Road, mini-series!!!"

… Crap, I need a better name for this… I'll think up one later.

Rin: What kind of intro and title was that?!

Jyoohan: What do you expect? I was thinking on the fly.

Rin: You are pathetic. A rock could come up with a better name than this.

Jyoohan: Like what? Rocky?

Rin: Ha-ha, you think you're very funny don't you?

Jyoohan: Actually, I do. Especially, since I'll be concentrating on you as a heroine more often from now on.

Rin: Really? What about Sakura?

Jyoohan: Such a good siblings you two are. Aren't they readers? Yes they are, especially when Rin will turn into the super Kaleido-Ruby and Sakura's darker side will manifest in my new Fate: Autumn Project.

Rin & Sakura: Wait! You're not turning me into that 'thing' are you?

Crazylobo (editor): Of course, this wouldn't be comedy without it! Be sure to enjoy the new and improved Fate: Autumn series, and get ready to say goodbye to the good ol' days of suntan lotion, juices, sultry curves, and dental-floss bikinis, and hello to hot springs, roasted potatoes, peeping toms, and plumes of fiery red!

Shiro: W-w-what?! That's such an indecent thing to say! I would never peep on–

Archer: Speak for yourself, fool.

Shiro: Archer!? You…! I won't let you peep on girls! … (Without me.) Trace-On! (Caliburn materializes)

Archer: (With a roar, summons Kansho and Bakuya)

-Sounds of metal clashing and Unlimited Blade Works battling it out in the background-

Crazylobo: …Anyway, it will be sad to see summer go.

Jyoohan: Yes-yes, but we all have to move on. How I miss summer already as all you young kids have to go back to school, while I don't…

Crazylobo: (Snorts audibly)

Jyoohan: Yeah, I had to rub that in. Anyways, be sure to look forward to next time. Rin will become weight conscious!

Rin: W-what?! Don't be ridiculous! What the hell are you going to make me do?

Crazylobo: Until next time!

Rin: Wait just a-

* * *

**Author's note:**

Hoo-boy… I finally took the time to make the edit… too much halo 3. But I love halo 3, I'm skull hunting… video game nerd talk at the moment. I would like to talk more, but 9 out of 10 of y'all would have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about. So anyways, uh… does anybody even read this down here? If so, REVIEW ME NOW!!! Say you love me, I love the encouragement. I like it when people praise me! Is it wrong if I feel good when I am praised? Is it so wrong I ask you!!

Oh yeah, by the way, look forward to autumn…

**Footnote:**

**Stheno and Euryale**: were two of the three sisters known as Gorgons. They were said to be vicious with brass hands, sharp fangs, and had hairs of living venomous snakes. These sisters were able to turn anybody into stone. But Medusa (name means "guardian"), the youngest of the triplets, was mortal unlike her immortal sisters.

Euryale (name means "far-roaming") is the oldest of the three sisters and is noted for her bellowing cries, especially in the tale of Medusa's death at the hands of Perseus.

Stheno (name means "forceful") is the second youngest of the three sisters and the most independent of them all. She killed more people than both Euryale and Medusa; however, her head was put up as a display when she died, for all the gods to mock.

The three gorgons were widely used in various media from video games to comic book and more. One of my favorite is obviously in Fate/hollow ataraxia. I wouldn't mind being a lolicon for those two evil little deviants… heh-heh.

**Bonus!!! **(I would put color if I could)

Later before going to bed…

"Shiro, tonight, I want you to _Jam_ it in!" Saber cried with forced enthusiasm.

"S-Saber! Do you know what you just said?!" Shiro panicked.


	9. Chapter 9

**Fate-Season's Road**

"**Autumn Project"**

**By Jyoohan**

**Original Creators**

**Type-Moon**

* * *

**Chapter 9 – The Love of Ri—**

"Hold it right there!" Rin barked, breaking into the author's room. "To think you would mess with me even before starting the chapter, do you have a death wish?"

"Ah… maybe… tee-hee." The Author laughed nervously.

"You (censored) sick bastard, what the hell are you planning? Whatever it is, the world has no need of it. In fact, it'd be in my—I mean everyone's best interest to kill you right now." Rin said while readying a curse.

"Oh come on, I bet there's someone out there that could do worse." The Author began to sweat, his very life on the line.

"Really, like what?"

"I do believe I read one where you were given dancing lessons and something about milk. Oh… milk does have an adverse effect on the imagination if you think abou—aaah—that hurts!"

"You Sicko! You can do whatever you want with Saber but messing with me will be the worst mistake you have ever made in your life." Rin was seething with anger.

"Though I love your 'tsundere' qualities, the pain that comes with it is a hard bargain." Rin slapped the Author across the face. "Okay, maybe talking about anime terms wasn't a good idea."

"Rin, it's unsightly for you to behave in such a way." Archer appears from nowhere.

"You… bastard!" The Author points, "Do you know how much I want to be in your shoes right now you (censored) sheep-headed freak!" Archer tilts his head with a 'huh?' expression. "I'd kill to be you right now… or be Shiro in the 'unlimited blade works' scenario."

Rin delivered a nasty reverse elbow to the back of the Author's head and said, "Don't bring up the H-game, moron! Don't you know there are kids out there who play those kinds of things when they shouldn't?"

"Yes… there are many guilty little ones out there. I was once—urk!"

"I don't need to know that!" Rin smashed her heel into the Author's face.

"What's going on?" Fuji-nee cried, and the rest of the Fate cast comes into the Author's bedroom and honors the room with their presence… though Berserker had to stay outside in the parking lot… in 31 degrees Fahrenheit cold… poor Berserker.

"I think what Rin's trying to do is get the author to change the title so she can keep some of her dignity." Archer said coolly. Everyone clapped their hands to his excellent solution.

"No! I will not have it!" The Author slurred with Rin's foot still on his face—oh god, the feel of her thigh high socks. "The chapter title will be 'The love of Ri—aaargh!'"

The Fate cast cringed from the inhumane pain inflicted upon the Author.

"Don't… even… say it!" Rin huffed and puffed.

Just as things were heating up, the Editor burst in with her 'XD', "Hey, I got your file for chapter 11. I'll get on it as soon as—." Her jaws drop when her eyes were fixated upon Archer's cool figure. Internet slang of 'OMG', 'LOL', and so on ensued.

With a bandaged up head, superfluously hiding the author's true identity, the author returned to the main argument, "I will make it: "The love of Ri—(BLEEP!)." Rin sounded a signal horn to 'bleep' out the last part, again.

The Fate cast was in a dire situation with the Author's stubbornness. The story could not progress without a feasible change that both Rin and the Author could agree upon.

"How about the Affection of Tosa—."

"No…" Rin interrupted with a somber tone.

"The Fondness of—"

"Shut up."

"The Attachment o—"

"Get out."

"The Connection—"

"Go to hell."

The deliberation was not faring well.

"Aw, come on, do you want a boring title like: The leaves change and fall. I want something spicier… like… why are all of you looking at me like that?" The author began to have a very bad feeling. "Oh no, this is my story. I will not have a stupid chapter title like that. Editor!"

"I kind of like it!" The editor spouted, followed by a 'doh' from the Author.

The Fate cast had to go on an adventure to capture the Author with Rin as the party leader, but that would be pointless to write because it'd take too long. So to sum it up, the Author was captured, bound to his chair, and a very special person manipulated him.

"Hello Ilya, you know I think you're the best pubescent little girl I've ever seen right? Moe?" The Author tried not to make eye contact with the Albino girl.

"Make him look into your eyes." Rin ordered.

"NO! That's cheating you dirty—argh!" Ilya pulled the author's face, hypnotizing him with her mystic eyes. "NO-NO-NO! Why—y—ha-ha-hai—y?!" The Author cried, painfully wrote up the chapter title, and continued with the story after a lot of unnecessary nonsense.

* * *

**Chapter 9 – The Leaves Change and Fall**

I have no motivation. (Slap) Okay, moving on…

Autumn, the sign of change everyone knows. The breeze bringing a slight chill, warning that winter is just around the corner.

The once green leaves had begun turning, the burgeoning landscape now a canvas of red and gold plumes. And in that canvas, a small spot of white and blue stood out. A girl was there, a blonde girl. She poked at the smoldering embers, waiting patiently like she was told.

"What the hell?" Rin suddenly charges into the scene. "I thought I was supposed to be the main figure from now on."

Rin is the central figure in this story.

"Stop talking in third person!"

If Rin would be patient, the transition from summer to autumn would have gone without a hitch.

Ignoring the annoyingly charming 'tsundere' girl, "Don't make me (Rin draws a line across her neck)." The air wafted with a tasty scent. Its enticing aroma tickled their noses.

"Sweet potatoes!" Rin exclaimed.

"They're just about ready, just like Shiro taught me." Saber said, sticking to the script unlike a certain someone.

"Drop it." Rin scowled.

"But if I drop it, the sweet potatoes would be wasted." Saber said shocked.

"No, not the… ooh!" Rin shuddered, frustrated… yes… be frustrated. "I swear to god, one more lip from you and I'll…" Rin left the sentence open.

Taking the offered snack, Rin and Saber munched with satisfaction. Saber had prepared a dozen and baked each and every one with tender loving care. One after another one, the delicious treat was devoured by the pair; however, there is a thing called 'too much of a good thing'.

Those sweet potatoes are jam packed with calories and carbs, things that would surely cause unsightly bulges to appear in places most noticeable on any girl, especially in Rin's figure.

"Just let it go Rin. He's still sore about the title fiasco." Saber tried to calm Rin down.

But there is a beaming glimmer of light, a rainbow of hope for those plagued by the autumn hunger fest, otherwise known as 'Thanksgiving' on this side of the hemisphere. It's hot. It's steamy. Not many people on the North American continent have ever experienced it: the Eden of bliss, the hot spring.

"Hot spring, is it free?" Rin wondered aloud.

Just beyond the tattered trail, there was a large mansion clearly poking out from the mountain side. Hot steam was perforating from the back.

"You know, a Japanese bath is great and all, but a hot spring has a certain 'thing' about it that's… unique. I heard it does wonders for the skin." Rin opined.

The mansion was built as a lover's getaway.

"What?!"

Each room is designed to hold two occupants, preferably of the opposite genders.

"Oh… my… god…"

There are certain 'tools' at the users'—

"Stop right there! There is going to be none of that here."

And so the rooms were already assigned. Rin and Archer are obviously paired together (evil laugh). Shiro and Saber is another given. There are others but let's leave the rest as a surprise; otherwise, it won't be as fun if the readers can predict some of it.

However, everything doesn't go as planned, for an intruder lurks in the shadows. The man has absolute no tact. He thinks nothing but himself, a narcist he is. You know the man in the gold armor, Gilgamesh. (The author attempted previously to make it sound like a soccer, excuse me France, Italy, Spain, and Mexico—I mean futbol, announcer, but it would have been some weird looking text)

"This is madness. How is it possible that everyone except I was invited to this dream-like escape? Madness I say. Before I purge the fool responsible, I must find a way past these blasted doors." Gilgamesh hummed, staring at the tall gate impeding his path.

Whipping out Ea, he cried, "Enuma Elish!" Crimson scores of energy blasted the aged fortification. The very fabric of time and space was torn asunder. As the blinding barrage dimmed, the tall gate was still standing without a scratch.

"This can't be!" Gilgamesh stomped his feet. "Nothing and I mean nothing can withstand my Ea! What is going on here?" Suddenly words began to write itself on the wooden doors.

_This area has been strictly set up so that tier 4 based mana invocation and above cannot be used on the premises. Forgive us for any inconveniences, thank you._

"Curses!" Gilgamesh slammed his foot on the door but regretted it the second later.

The King of Heroes failed to notice a tag labeled: Pull.

--

Rin gasped with delight. The interior was lavishly designed with Western and Eastern art pieces, each complimenting the other. The tour guide explained a little history lesson if each piece and some famous person that had stopped by long ago.

Archer walked indigenously close by, keeping a vigilant guard over his master's safety.

"Oh my, what a tall, handsome man you've found yourself." Archer blinked, wondering if the attendant was talking about him. "I take it you're newly weds?" The attendant asked nosily.

Rin tried to form her sentence. "No, no… we're just…"

"I thought it would be nice to relax in a remote place. Isn't that right honey?" Archer flashes a smile before a knee connected to his face.

--

(Take 2)

"I take it you're newly weds?" The attendant asked nosily.

"No, we're just friends." Rin corrected.

"I don't believe in marriage." Archer grunted before he was reduced to a charred form after being shot by a powerful 'Gand'.

--

(Take 7)

"I take it you're, uh… n-newly weds?" The attendant stuttered.

Rin said flat out. "No."

"Our relationship cannot be understood by normal reasoning. It's hard, but we're very close. Isn't that right, Rin?"

Rin stared at Archer for a second before she walked off the set.

--

(Take 19)

"You are… newly… weds?" The attendant looked very nervous.

Rin replied frankly. "No, he's my Servant."

"Master … why do I have to suddenly call you master?" Archer complained.

"Master and Servant… I didn't think you two were into that kind of 'thing'." The attendant said and winced when Archer was again abused by Rin's Gand.

--

(Take 56)

"So what's the reason for your stay?" The attendant finally wised up and changed the question.

"Just a vacation, nothing more." Rin said, exhausted from all the 'takes'.

"Would you be so kind to show us to our rooms please?" Archer helped a tottering Rin.

The attendant fiddled with her key ring before she opened the door labeled: Sienna Suite. Inside, there were rose petals scattered all over the floor. An oval bed draped in layers of silk screen. The room gave off tenors of desire.

The attendant whispered, "Please enjoy your stay." and ran off, afraid to see their delayed reactions.

(The attendant will forever remain nameless for her safety.)

--

"Curse whoever made that label. Could he not have made it bigger so somebody such as I could recognize it earlier?" Gilgamesh griped. "No matter, I have made it to this den of longing. My prize is within my grasp at last."

"May I have your name and reservation number?" A clerk asked politely.

"Gilgamesh, King of Heroes! I have no reservation number!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Our establishment will not admit any guests unless they come paired with their lovers. That's how things work here."

"Money is not an issue. I'm sure you can't name a price that I can't handle." Gilgamesh pulled a checkbook out.

"Sir, it's the founding tradition of this establishment. I'm sorry but you'll just have to return when you have a friend to be admitted with. Gender is not an issue; we've had many of those."

"Uh… in case you have the wrong suggestion, I am not gay, and I never have been gay. Yes, I'm a man in love, in love with a King!" Gilgamesh exclaimed, not realizing his own (multiple) error in words.

"Right… but the fact remains, I cannot admit you until you have a friend, sir."

Gilgamesh grumbled. Something so miniscule would not bar his path. He had to find some way to get in. An azure haired beauty passed him by.

"What? Release me! What are you doing?" Gilgamesh dragged the helpless woman, who cried for help.

"This is my partner. May I enter this sanctum now?"

The clerk questioned whether Gilgamesh's partner was real or not. The azure beauty cried out for her 'darling'. A tall, sharp man challenged Gilgamesh. The tall man's square glasses hid a pair of steely eyes.

"Soichiro-sama!" The azure beauty cried, embracing her one and only love.

"Are you hurt, Medea?" Soichiro said with his unbreakable monotone voice.

"No," Medea replied, "but this vulgar man stole me away from you. I was so scared. I have no way to defend myself while in this place."

Medea, a powerful sorceress, is rendered almost powerless within the boundaries of this mysterious estate, but that goes for the King of Heroes as well.

"Stole? I don't have to belittle myself to such a role." Gilgamesh boasted. "All women belong to me! Therefore, there's no need for me to steal a woman. Their bodies and souls are already in my possession." Gilgamesh laughed hysterically.

Soichiro stood rigidly. A vicious aura emanated from his posture. "You lay a finger on her, and I will not hesitate to kill you." He said monotonously.

Gilgamesh laughed at his opponent, still forgetting something very important. With a cry, he summoned the Gates of Babylon, but nothing came. He finally realized that his offensive capability is next to none without his innumerable weapons at his disposal.

Barraged by a flurry of fists, Gilgamesh was beaten to a pulp. Soichiro was cheered on by his 'honey', crying to give the King of Heroes his just desserts.

The unconscious Gilgamesh was left on the atrium floor. The loving couple checked in for a very _memorable_ night. The clerk gave best wishes to the loving pair.

"We plan to make lots of memories, right darling?" Medea purred, and Soichiro hummed affirmatively.

Just as the tender couple left, a trio of new guests arrived. "So this is the place those little deviants ran off to?" Fujimura-sensei cried, looking quite exhausted. Sakura and Issei brought up the rear, panting heavily. They never thought this place would be so far back off the beaten path. Their sensei got lost even but somehow managed to find the place, thanks to strategically placed signs.

Sakura and Issei followed their sensei, as she maneuvered around the estate. The clerk stopped them from proceeding any further, explaining the rules she had just explained to Gilgamesh earlier.

"What?! Those little brats… when I get my hands on those, oh, I'm going to." Fujimura-sensei roared, imagining all the cruel punishment that would await those devious, little brats. To think they would run away to such an exotic resort without adult supervision, what were they thinking?

"So, if I understand correctly, we must be checked in as pairs?" Sakura said. With a nod, the attendant displayed the registry of every checked in guest. "Then this should not be a problem, right?" Sakura wrote her name and Issei's next to hers.

"S-Sakura-san?" Issei blushed.

"This should be fine, right Ryudo-kun?" Issei nodded his head like a puppy to Sakura's soft spoken words. His imagination was running wild for the moment before he calmed himself down. "Yes, with this, I'll be sure to steal senpai away from that nasty Saber." From under her collar, dark tendrils crept up along Sakura's neck.

Before Fujimura-sensei could stop the wayward pair, Sakura, while forcibly dragging Issei, dashed through the halls. She was just about to follow, but the attendant effectively barred her path. It seems the resort staff had plenty of experience to stop Fujimura-sensei.

She had to find a way in. There's no telling what mistakes those young munchkins could make. The bitter taste of regret after committing a sin, no! She must stop it at all cost. As a sensei, The Tiger will not falter.

"Ugh… my head." Gilgamesh groaned.

Glaring hawk eyes, Fujimura-sensei pounced upon the beaten body and brought it to the front desk. "Would this 'thing' count?" She held the King of Heroes like a dead animal, by its feet.

"Uh, please enter your names."

The names Taiga Fujimura and 'Lemon-head' were signed into the hotel registry. With that issue settled, the sensei dragged Gilgamesh to her room. The King of Heroes' head was banged against a couple of things on the way.

--

The moment the characters of Fate were waiting for, finally enjoying the fruits of Japan's exotic hotspot. They dipped their naked bodies into the hot tub of bliss, sighing with mixed twinges of pain and pleasure. The author is steaming with jealousy at the fact he could not enjoy a hot spring experience.

"This is heaven." Rin sighed with a gooey-happy face.

"I agree. It feels like all is right in the world." Saber sighed.

This is just one of the many different spots of hot springs available to this exquisite resort. The area they are currently in had been specially dubbed the 'Bamboo Forest'. No prying eyes can see past the thick conduits of bamboo reaching for the sky.

Enjoying their state of perpetual bliss, Saber and Rin failed to notice someone coming through the entryway or the ripple of water. Their figures were obscured by the thick steamy goodness permeated by the hot spring.

A divine wind blew, cutting the fog like a knife. Using melodramatic camera angles, Saber and Rin caught the figures of Sakura and Rider a little to their left. There was an uncomfortable pause until Sakura spoke up.

"Hello, sister." Sakura gave a fleeting wave.

They laughed nervously, wondering what to talk about.

"Rider, I was not informed that you would make an appearance in this, um, chapter." Saber said. "How was it to be in your very own chapter?" There was a double meaning in the blonde Servant's word.

"Well, it was an interesting experience, yet I believe I would rather lower myself to a more humble role." Rider muttered, wishing to never experience such a horrendous trial like she had. (Refer to Chapter 8) But there was one thing that she did find… a little bit enjoyable at the end. The dinner was nice to say the most.

Rin giggled and said, "So if you two are here, then there must be a special someone you came with." Sakura and Rider both flinched. "I can always find out who Sakura came with later, but what interests me the most is who Rider came together with." Rider averted her eyes to avoid Rin's prying ones.

Rider's eyes turned to her master, she immediately claimed Sakura as her partner. Sakura looked clueless to Rider's charade, not convincing Rin one bit. Rider could not say who that person is. She was still insecure whether that man really is a soul mate, her trust couldn't be given away so easily after a difficult past.

The bamboo reeds shuddered. The girls ducked their naked bodies underwater with a shriek. Rin called out if someone was there with a jittery voice. No one answered, and the reeds shuddered again, a growl coming from the other side.

The ladies pulled out their weapons. Their bodies wrapped under a towel, they cautiously moved closer to the area of the disturbance. Rin waved her head, asking Rider to check the bushes with her dagger.

Rider objected, but everyone pushed her forward. She nervously poked her weapon into the thicket and pushed them aside. Another grunt, it growled menacingly. Rider jumped away with a scream, losing her towel in the process.

"Hail the (censored) ancestors of yore; they're the size of melons!" A voice yelled after whistling a cat call.

Rider submerged herself, the thought of someone seeing her naked body making her body boil hotter than the hot spring.

Aiming towards the mysterious voices origin, Rin let loose a barrage of her Gand, kicking up dirt and leaves. The intruder cried in pain and ordered to stop their attack. As the debris cleared, Lancer lazily picked himself up, rubbing his tender spots.

"Don't tell me you came with this beast, Rider?" Rin opined.

"Whoa-whoa, I come in peace, damn it!" Lancer waved his hand nervously as the girls tried desperately to stop Rin from using three of her best jewels that would surely maim Lancer if not disintegrate him.

"Don't look!" Rider's glasses slipped off. At that very moment, she made eye contact with Lancer. In seconds, Lancer's feet were starting to become… brittle.

"No, stop! Look somewhere else with those dangerous eyebeams!" Lancer screamed. Rider looked away, and the ladies around her ducked and ran for cover so they wouldn't want to be turned into a living sculpture gallery. "Over there, look over there!" Lancer pointed to a patch of red in the Bamboo shrubs.

Rider turned her cursed gaze and got immediate results. Another voice yelped as it toppled over in the shrubbery. Rin twitched, fully recognizing the person's voice.

Making sure her towel was tightly wrapped, Rin charged her Gand as much as the anti-mana restriction would let her. Savoring every step, Rin brushed back the shrubs. Archer lied on the floor, his feet paralyzed.

"I knew it was your voice I heard. Do you have any last words?" The Gand's energy cackled with black electricity.

"Rin this is a complete misunderstanding. I was trying to stop that pervert from peeping on you!" Archer saved himself and stopped Rin from releasing her unchecked fury. "I'm sorry Rin. I was only trying to protect you, but I was afraid you might take this in the wrong way. Who would believe a man, right?" Archer hung his head low.

"R-really? You're not putting me through a sympathy trip right?" Rin blushed.

"Yeah, the hell he is!" Lancer yelled and got shot in the head by Rin's Gand.

With humph, Rin examined Archer's paralyzed feet. "Can you stand?" Rin helped her Servant back to his feet. With a curt thank you, Archer gave his usual smirk. Rin returned her own cute smile but then noticed something a little strange.

The leaves… leaves were passing through his body. She couldn't have missed it since a leaf the size of her hand passed through his face. His body was ethereal; meaning others unless they were Servants wouldn't see him.

"Um, sister, who are you talking to?" asked Sakura.

Having been found out, Archer backed away in fear. Rin went with the worst case scenario: the bastard was trying to peep on her.

"Scum." Rin muttered.

Archer didn't have time to react before Rin's Gand exploded in his face.

--

With a satisfying humph, Rin exited the bath. It would be the last time she would put even an ounce of trust into that white feathered brain of a Servant. To think he had a shred of decency, what a fool she was.

She'd be sure to give him a beating worth a lifetime. Her Servant committing such an act reflects shame upon her. Oh the things she would have to think up to punish that Servant.

Slipping into a Yukata, a slip of paper fell out of Rin's sleeve. It looked like an invitation.

_Come to room 1408, signed Medea. _

Medea as in Caster? What would she want? Rin couldn't think of an ulterior motive. For one, caster really can't do anything harmful while staying here. What could that Servant be up to?

No choice but to see what Caster wanted. Knowing her, it's probably something sadistic. Like binding men with ropes and leather straps, that seems something remotely possible.

"Were you thinking ill of me?" Caster said, snapping Rin out of her thoughts.

"W-what makes you think that?" Rin laughed, forgetting Caster had 'other' abilities amongst her arsenal of spells and witchcraft.

"That's too bad, because I really wanted to share this book with everyone."

Rin glanced at the cover and did a double take to read the title, _Wrapped around you finger: The perfect guide to tame and manipulate that significant other,_ printed with all tackiness. She asked Caster if this was a joke, but Caster's face held no joking expression, she was dead serious.

Entering Caster's lair, other female members were invited as well. Saber, Sakura, Rider, Ilya, and even Fujimura-sensei was present and accounted for to everyone's surprise.

"Would someone please explain what's going on here?" Fujimura-sensei cried out, not knowing what perversities awaited them.

"I'm sorry for calling everyone here, but I really wanted to share this with everyone since it helped me so much." Caster said and shrieked suddenly, blushing and swaying infatuatedly. "Forgive me, I couldn't contain myself. Ahem, this book here can solve all your problems."

"Any problem?" Rin said skeptically.

"Yes, any!" Caster smiled confidently.

"What kind of problem do we have that needs to be solved?" Ilya said suspiciously. Even if they were amongst fellow woman, trust couldn't be passed around freely.

"This wonderful-wonderful book has list upon list of solutions to all of your courting problems." Everyone except Saber and Rider understood. "Excuse me, for the vernal generation of this eon, finding a boyfriend."

The room was silent for a full minute before it burst with laughter.

"What kind sham is that? Did you get that off the internet?" Rin wiped away tears of mirth.

"I did in fact from this so called 'internet', and I had bookmarked some special spots for each and every one of you that I believe was appropriate." The laughs died as quick as it started. "Oh, I have something Ms. Saber can use right here." Medea giggled frenetically.

Medea read the book, describing Saber's core characteristics. Recounting her noble history and background, Saber would fall under the pretense of a willful maiden. Initial advice is to let the man take charge while inciting his desires.

"I-incite?" Saber stuttered.

Feigning bashfulness, innocence, and a pinch of nervousness is highly recommended. And for those hard to get types, give fleeting glances, make short eye-contact and turn the other cheek immediately!

By this time, your target of affection should be on top of you at this very minute, but if not so, and if he's being a hesitant douche. Try to push away from his advances but not too much! By giving futile resistance, you fuel his yearning until he can't control himself any longer, "And he'll transform and devour you!" Medea added the last bit.

"No—o!" Saber cried out fearfully.

"Excuse me but I thought you were trying to help us, not scare us." Sakura said, comforting the shuddering Servant. Caster apologized, admitting she got 'too into it'.

"I wonder what Saber will be doing tonight?" Rin grinned evilly. Saber whimpered, saying she doesn't want to be 'eaten'. "Don't worry, he won't eat you." Saber sighed in relief. "He'll desecrate you." Rin chose her words well and was rewarded with another shriek.

"Don't worry, there's a special scenario written out for Ms. Tosaka." Caster said. Rin tried to flee, but Saber held her down. "It took a while to decide what Ms. Tosaka would fall under since she's endowed with so many turn-ons."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" Rin vented.

Medea began to read the many characteristics that defined Rin. Tsundere qualities coupled with pigtails, thigh high socks, and a miniskirt. A fiery temper complimented with moments of loss and vulnerability.

"Who the hell's vulnerable?!" Rin screamed before Saber's hand silenced her.

First series of actions, "There's more than one?!" play hard to get as much as possible, this will provoke the male party into action whether it be passive or aggressive. If you have degraded the male party before, practice moderation, degradation can destroy their will or make their patience snap. Either way, you will not be enjoying a memorable night.

In rare instances, try to compliment that male partner.

"Fat chance that would happened." Fujimura-sensei whispered.

Maintain a dignified composure; this will not only bring respect but also platonic love. By this time, both male and female should have experienced lewd skin contact, and things should progress well from there.

Steam billowed out from Rin's pretty cranium.

"There is also the shortest route," Assault the male party in the middle of the night while completely na—

"Stop! Just please, I think I've handled enough." Rin begged, "How about we move on, like to my sister?"

Sakura jumped, "Eh? No, I-I wouldn't want to impede. I think that..."

"Oh, nonsense! I have a special one that I had already done in fact. It's called naked apron" Medea showed them a picture that shocked them all. A picture of the pointy eared goddess nude, save for a scanty kitchen apron that barely covered her bosom and nether region.

Sakura sputtered, saying should never commit such a flagrant act of immodesty to her beloved senpai. The home girl image she catered so long would be shattered within an instant.

"Oh but the delectable breakfast we had that day. It still sends tingle down my spine." Caster drooled. Watching her reaction, Sakura began to have second thoughts…

"No! I must keep a clean mind. Bad thoughts out! Good thoughts in! Bad thoughts out! Good thoughts…" Sakura continued her mantra.

Ilya asked Caster with polite grace if there is anything in the book that could help her in any way. Caster flipped through the pages, but none of Ilya's special qualities ever came up. There were the glasses, ponytail, slender arms, big butts, and etcetera but nothing that would fit Ilya's description.

At the end of the book, there was a little note. It read: _This book has no instructions for girls that are very short, flat-chested, immature, and has a big brother fetish._

Ilya almost threw the damn book into the hot spring. Caster was fighting with the strong little girl. The book's life was in danger.

"Um, does it say anything about me?" Rider opined.

"Sorry, let me check right away." Caster restrained Ilya with a low level binding spell, enough to keep Ilya pacified for the moment. "Rider-san, Rider-san, ah-ha! It says… oh…" Caster covered her mouth and closed the book. "Wow, I feel famished! Is it time for dinner?"

Rider reached for the book, which Caster tried to keep from Rider's hands. It was like a game of cat and mouse and Caster swiped the book out of the way right at the last second. Rider and Caster continued their game of charades until Fujimura-sensei snatched the book away. Fujimura-sensei lectured everyone, saying that such childlike behavior is inappropriate for them as young adults.

Finding the bookmark with Rider's name on it, Fujimura-sensei began to read aloud. "Be forewarned and put some damn clothes on." Rider almost fell over, the opening statement being frank. It described how Rider must be wary as her body and the way she dresses would warrant hostile advances from the opposite gender of her species.

One immediate solution was to escape to an uninhabited island and setup a labyrinth so that the men couldn't find her despite their greatest attempt. Rider shouted at Fujimura-sensei to stop reading, a past memory that Rider would rather not relive.

Using one leg, Fujimura-sensei expertly kept Rider at bay until she found a bookmark tab with her name on it. Curiously she turned to that page and read. "Chances are slim that you can find a male counterpart that will be attracted to your personality traits unless you change. What?! Why you little, who do you think you are?!" Fujimura-sensei tossed the book, and Rin caught it before it flew out the window.

"Ho-ho, next best solution is to 'pacify' your male partner so he may not escape and you could do away with him at your pleasure, sounds kind of kinky." Rin giggled.

Fujimura-sensei screamed, reminding Rin of the 'other' series of actions that can be taken for her unique abundance of turn-ons.

Soon the room turned into a chaotic mess as the girls vied for control of the book to further embarrass one another with its wicked contents.

--

The arena has been set, the teams assembled, and the weapons armed for mental destruction. On one side are the girls and the other men, to prove once and for all who is better. Their tools are words, their ammunition is the imagination, and the objective is to scare. Welcome to a night of (dun-dun-dun) Ghost stories.

The rules have been explained. Each side as a chance to tell two stories, whoever even lets out even a whimper would be the loser. In the case of a tie breaker, a special unnamed challenge will be the decider.

Using the cliché excuse of 'ladies first', the girl's began their first tale. Rin began her tale with a story related to the very school they attend. Perfect since mostly everyone in the room could relate.

It began during after school hours, when the teachers once let the students stay long over night. There was a girl who was bullied everyday. Now one would think she would leave before she can be picked on anymore, but she didn't have a home to go back to.

That day, her parents died. Most of the school sympathized with the broken girl, but the bullies didn't. They sassed and hectored her, told her that she should go die with her parents. And so that night, she died, killing herself by jumping out her classroom window.

But the story doesn't end there. The one of the people who bullied her happen to pass by the same classroom. She thought she saw someone, entered, and was shocked to see who was sitting in that empty desk.

The girl, who's supposed to be dead, sat naturally in her seat, studying her notes like a diligent student. The bully almost screamed in fright when the girl noticed her. With an innocent smile on her face, she stood up, walked over to a window, gave a last smiling glance, and hopped out the window.

The bully, now scared beyond her wits, was gasping in fear. She knew she shouldn't, but the bully crept closer to the window. Something coaxed her into moving to that window. Maybe it's because the bully knew she and her friends was the reason why that girl killed herself.

Her eyes rapt on the window sill, she peeked head down and saw nothing. Releasing a sigh of relief, she was about to pull herself back in but noticed something strange. There on the ground, something fuzzy. She squinted her eyes to see better and saw… herself, dead on the ground outside.

Her heart began to race, griped in fear. From out of the wall, just below the window outside, that girl's head slowly appeared, still smiling innocently. The bully was frozen in fear. Her body didn't respond to her pleas to run away. The dead girl's hand slowly wrapped around the bullies neck and pulled her down, just like how she saw herself moments ago.

With a sudden clap, Rin let out an ear splitting scream. The guys jumped and fell over each other but didn't let out even a whimper like Rin hoped.

"That was cheap!" Lancer cried out.

"Hey, Issei! Issei!" Shiro shook his friend, who fainted with his eyes open.

"We didn't make one noise Rin. So as the rule stated, you don't get a point." Archer said, trying to control his shaky voice. Though Rin didn't technically win, it was golden to see Archer strain himself.

Seeing how his pride was on the line, Archer stood up to take the task of taking Rin down. Rin feigned a yawn, daring Archer to give her his best shot.

Remembering a very chilly tale, Archer began to spin his web of terror. An old legend from a far away island he visited long ago. A folklore that the locals heeded with prudence, the story was of the white lady, the locals called her.

When the Spaniards came and took control of the island, there was a Spanish officer who married one of the local girls. The officer was kind and loving at first but turned cold and abusive after his marriage. And every night, he would send his wife to fetch him fresh water from the river for his dinner.

The young girl soon began to look forward to her little walks to the river. She especially loved it when it was full moon. The moon would reflect of the moving river's surface like stars dancing, a gentle wind blowing through jungle flora.

However, her husband soon began to notice how it took longer every night for his wife to bring him his water and became furious. So on a new moon, the husband sent his wife out during a stormy night. Without the moon to guide her and the screams of the wind, the wife failed to notice that the once tranquil creek turned into a raging flood.

Oblivious to the dangers she was in, the wife made her way down with a clay pot. The embankment gave way, and she fell into the turbulent waters. She screamed for help but succumbed to the murky depths.

Now today, especially when there's a new moon out, her spirit lingers and appears in three of that island's most prominent landmarks. During dusk and before the moon appears, you will see an apparition dressed in a ghostly white dress like a bridal gown, silvery hair and sad red eyes.

Sometimes, she warns of dangers like when a storm is about to come, but the other stories are grimmer. She'll appear as a human, an animal, or even a combination of both, a horrible half-creature, and has an aversion for women and children in particular, and the White Lady only fears the cross.

The most important thing is not to be touched by the White Lady. There will be a red mark where contact was made. And late at night, you can hear the White Lady make horrible, screeching screams. If you don't see a local shaman to seek healing, The White Lady will come steal you away in your sleep.

"So be careful, or you'll get this red mark like I did." Archer pulls back his sleeve, revealing a sickening red blotch on his arm.

Covering Sakura's mouth, Rin and the rest of the girls cowered in the corner, fear evident in their eyes.

"Y-y-yeah r-right! That's probably a mosquito bite or something!" Rin stuttered.

"It is actually. It's been killing me all night." Archer scratched the red bump, making it worse. The room was silent before it burst with laughter, the tension from Archer's story completely disappearing.

"Are you stupid? You just ruined the atmosphere." Rin giggled and remembered him scratching himself a lot when she was telling her story, the reason why it got so bad right now.

"I'm serious; does any body have some kind of itch cream?" Archer asked.

A bloody scream echoed through the halls. Everyone froze, slowly turning towards the door. "Archer, is this part of your plan?" Shiro asked nervously.

No, he didn't plan this far ahead, and he happened to have been bit by a mosquito earlier. The door shuddered like someone was trying to force it open. As if the ghostly source more than one, the windows rattled and swung open. Outside, a figure stood along a creek. The moon made her silvery hair shine. The wind howled with a curdling screech.

"Wh-… Wh-… White Lady!" Gilgamesh shrieked in terror. Everyone erupted screaming.

"Shiro, save me, I don't want to be taken away!" Saber cried.

"This is all your fault! Go die, die for my sake!" Rin used Archer as a shield.

"Taiga, I'm scared." Ilya wrung her arms around Fujimura-sensei's waist.

"Oh my god, oh my god, she touched me! She touched me! I'm too young to die! I'm still so young!" Fujimura-sensei mistook Ilya for a myth.

"Within my inventory and all these weapons that I have, I don't have a single cross, damn it!" Gilgamesh wailed.

As the boys and girls scurried around terror stricken, the figure outside patiently waited, admiring the beautiful moon that was out tonight.

"I'm sorry." Soichiro approached the angelic figure. "I had to help someone. She almost fell down the stairs."

"Is the girl alright?" Medea asked concerned.

"… Yes," Soichiro struck speechless by Medea's ethereal form.

With a giggle, Medea tightly wrapped her arms around Soichiro's and whispered into his ear. "Let's take a walk, darling. The garden is beautiful tonight, and we're alone." And the pointy eared goddess led her prey into her trap.

* * *

Will be stuck playing Halo 3 for a very long time to come…

* * *

Fate: Season's Road — mini-series

… Still haven't thought up a name for it… oh well

Jyoohan: Archer!

Archer: What the hell do you want now?

Jyoohan: Though I hold much jealousy and enmity towards you for a certain reason, I have something that I must share as a man to another fellow man.

Archer: Okay… what is it?

Jyoohan: A couple of days ago, I was talking with a friend online, chatting about whatever.

Archer: Get to the point.

Jyoohan: Right, anyways, she suddenly sent me this awesome wallpaper that I can't stop staring at when my desktop is up… (Author checks his desktop wallpaper again) … yes!

Archer: Would you just hurry up and tell me?

Jyoohan: Sorry, the thing is, she gave me this untold euphoric image that actually made my head dizzy. I'm getting chills just thinking about it… oh sweet gravy… (Drool)

Archer: What is it? Tell me already!

Jyoohan: Okay, now picture this; you know that red "plug suit" from that anime "Evangelion" right?

Archer: I believe that show has been over-rated, go on.

Jyoohan: I know this has or had been already done. But imagine… Rin in that red plug suit; let the image simmer… Mmm. (YEAH!)

Jyoohan and Archer: (Eyes shimmer in exhilarating bliss)

Archer: You, sir, are a good man. (Pats the author on the back)

Jyoohan: Not a problem… not a problem.

Rin: You freakin' perverts! (Gives both the author and Archer a large bump atop their heads) Stop fantasizing about me!

Jyoohan: Forgive me Rin, you're "Tsundere-ness" (and the pigtails, and the mini-skirt, and the thigh high socks, and the plug suit fantasy, and the…) has an unshakeable grip on my heart. Forgive me Saber… I've… converted.

Saber: Somehow… I think that's a good thing—for me in any case. (Clings onto Shiro)

Rin: Don't drop this Sicko on me!

Jyoohan and Archer: Forgive us, we're _men_ after all. (Stares at Rin with a happy face)

Rin: S-stop it! Don't look at me!

(Inspired by a true online chat)

* * *

**Author's note:**

Holy Pocky sticks, this was a long grueling work but I finally finished it. With this done, back to Träumen Neu where I left everyone in yet another cliffhanger. Anyways, I'll be going to Seattle to see my best friend, so no progress Thanksgiving week (11/17-24/2007, just so everybody knows!

Oh, about that min-series epoch, yes all you Saber fans, I have now officially converted over to Rin-ism.

**Footnote:**

**Caster's book** – Inspired by an art I saw where Caster, Sakura, and Hisui or Kohaku from Tsukihime reading a book titled: How to manipulate men. My imagination took me to places I shouldn't have…

**Scary Stories –** Rin's story was completely fictional, thought up by me of course. Archer's story however was based on a legend from my native hometown, Guam. The legend of the White Lady can be looked up if you Google: Guam Legends.

**Bonus!!! **(I am here to make you giggle further)

"Bakasa!" Ilya summoned her Servant.

"Wait Ilya, isn't it supposed to be Berserker? (Basaka)" Shiro corrected.

"What did I say?"

"(Baka-Sa) Stupid, who knows?" Shiro got kicked in the shin shortly after.

["Baka" means "stupid". "Sa" is often used as "Who knows". Combined, "Stupid, who knows?" is the result, a little fun with Japanese translation. Gotta love the man who invented puns.

**Extra Bonus!!!**

"There's going to be an O-make!" Ilya cheers.


	10. Chapter 10

**Fate-Season's Road**

"**Winter-Christmas Project"**

**By Jyoohan**

**Original Creators**

**Type-Moon**

* * *

**Chapter 10 – Oh, Silent Night…**

Tis' the season of jolly and holly on this holy night. Where all come together, whether it be family or friends, a night to be spent happily amongst one another's warm company. A time to stuff one's face with delicious food and tantalizing sweets.

"Jeez, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find a sort of rhyme in any of this." The author scratched his head, trying to quickly write this poor attempt of a chapter on this hallow Christmas Eve.

"Bleh, whatever, all I have to do is put all the pretty girls from Fate into some skimpy looking Santa costumes and call it a night." But before the author can even relish a moment to fantasize such an image, he tucked his head out of harms way. A black bullet of energy almost torched his handsome head.

"Hey! What's the big… oh, it's you again." The author ignored the intruder and returned to his keyboard.

From his little door, Rin, Saber, Sakura, and Rider glowered with an ominous aura. The author laughed and said the Santa suit idea was just a joke. It's not like he would get a better review from the little boys reading this on Christmas day. Like people would call this humble author a genius for the simple idea of putting every girl in Santa mini-skirts.

To the author's dismay, Rin reminded him that this was another lame attempt to recreate the opening of chapter nine, where the author previously went on a tangent that was completely nonsensical; however, the reviews that he received said otherwise.

"Why can't you admit it, Rin? People seem to enjoy the things I write. So can't I at least indulge myself in the image of you wearing a red, mini-skirt, Santa suit? You would look so dazzling in it. Isn't that right, Archer?" The author turned to his friend yet rival over Rin with a sparkle in his eyes.

Archer, appearing without pre-approved knowledge, gives a thumb up. "Oh! Rin, there's no need to be shy. I'm sure your popularity in the polls will surely rise with this new gimmick—urk!"

The author placed his hands in between his legs, empathizing with the poor servant's crushed balls by a swift kick delivered by Rin's slender legs. "A warning, you make one more smart comment about my figure, and I'm coming for yours. You understand, hah?" The author cowered into a fetal position, his hands still tucked in between his legs.

Rin sighed, massaging her temples. "I can't believe we're actually going through this kind of nonsense once again. Ugh? S-Saber?" Saber was magnificently dressed in velvet of red, a cute Santa hat atop her head. "What are you doing Saber? Are you actually going to go through with this twist author's—"

"Yeah?—blargh!" Rin swung a bag of toys into the author's face and continued.

"Ahem, this twisted author's scheme?"

"Well, I-uh…" Saber twiddled her fingers, "Shiro likes it so that's why…" The blonde haired Servant took a fleeting glance towards her heart's desire. Shiro smiled happily, holding a sign board that said: You look beautiful Saber!

Rin gave up knowing Saber would be a lost cause but was surprised to see her own sister, "Sakura, what do you think you're doing, and Rider?! It looks like they'll burst out any second!" Rin's face blushed; not realizing her younger sister's bust surpassed her own.

"Calm down onne-san, these suits are well built just like Rider's normal outfit." True that Sakura and Rider's costume closely resembled Rider's original outfit, but the lilac haired pair could tempt the devil even in those clothes.

However! Rin wouldn't fall for this classic tactic known as 'peer pressure'. She would hold her ground. There's no way in hell that she would slip into that Santa outfit. There was a thing called pride and dignity.

"Yes, that's it Rin-chan! It's everything I expect out of you!" The author shed tears of joy. Archer stood nearby trying to understand the author's tears. "Only a Tsundere character such as yourself could play your role so marvelously. The more you resist wearing the outfit with your humbugs, the sweeter it'll be to see your timid side blossom once you finally wear the garments of the Christmas goddess."

While in the midst of his wonderful fantasies, the author felt lightening strike down his back. A black hole of pain slowly opened in the pits of his stomach. Cold sweat trickled down his entire body. His breath came to him in rasps. Fell to his knees, the author drove his head into the ground. His hands nestled into his groin.

Rin let out a humph of triumph as the 'beast' lay wasted under her feet. "Alright everyone, let's get out of here and hope this twisted little pervert doesn't finish this chapter by Christmas."

"D-damn you… Rin… you just wait… I'll get this… done. Yargh… my unborn baby boy and girl…"

* * *

**Chapter 10 – …and skimpy Santa suits**

Snow fell peacefully in the city of Fuyuki. The serenity of the falling snow gave a chilling beauty to the landscape, covering everything in pure white, and tonight's full moon gathered deep blue shadows where its light could not reach.

Within the homes and its glowing windows, families come together. The excited children play with their Christmas presents, Adults pass stories around the table, and the aroma of Christmas dinner.

This is one of the scenes you would see during this cozy time of year; however we're about to go a little off tonight. Into the home of a magus who somehow got stuck with some charity work.

Rin plugged her ears, unable to take the kids and their constant griping. How in the world did she suddenly have to baby sit a bunch of brats on 'her' Christmas day?

"We want Santa! We want Santa!" Ilya led the choir of children into a pep rally

"Okay everyone, Santa's almost here!" Shiro tried to calm the eager children. "Oh, did you hear that?" The room fell silent. The kids looked around curiously until they heard the noise, a long creak from above.

"It's Santa!" Ilya jumped in the air. Rin plugged her ears again. The children's sharp cries ready to give her a headache of a lifetime.

"Who do you kids want?" Shiro worked the kids into a frenzy. Something Rin thought was unnecessary. "Who do you kids want?"

"Santa! Santa! We want Santa!" And with their call, the chimney shot out with a cloud of soot as someone crashed with free fall speed. Rin recognized the raspy cough and thought it couldn't be him. As the soot cleared, Archer stood up, dusting himself off.

"Oh my god, it's really Santa!" The children's mouths were hanging open in shock and awe.

"Archer! The beard, the beard!" Saber tried to point out before the kids found out.

Noticing the classic Santa beard missing from his chin, Archer fumbled around the fireplace looking for the missing hairpiece. Aha, he found it and tried to strap the beard back on but the string snapped. Before he could improvise a new plan, his back was bombard with waves upon waves of children, crying out for Santa.

The children rode the poor Servant like a mule. Archer struggled to pick himself back up until he was face to face with Ilya. She blinked and stared for a second, peeled the off center beard, and did not looked amused. Archer attempted a pointless, "ho-ho-ho".

"This isn't Santa!" Ilya cried out, and in seconds, a civil war broke out. Half the children still believing Archer was Santa, while the other half bickered that he wasn't.

"I'm telling you, Santa has a big belly and a really long beard! That's just Rin's boyfre—"

"Now it's not nice to tease Santa's little helper." Rin cut Ilya's sentence short. "Okay everyone; let's give Santa's helper a little room." Rin was surprised to see the children obey without a word.

"Hold on just one second, Rin, you can't fool me! That's not Santa's helper!" Ilya shoved a rude finger into Archer's face.

"Oh, that's too bad isn't Santa's helper? Looks like you'll have to take back all these gifts you brought tonight, directly from Santa." Rin dropped a big bag of goodies into Archer's lap. Ilya stepped back. All the little boys and girls cried out a long moan, leaving Ilya no choice but to let Rin have this round.

The toys were given away one by one. Shiro and Saber took over and watched over the little ones. Rin sat back and watched the scene. It looked like something out of a movie clip or a picture frame.

"Thanks a lot. You saved me back there." Archer fell back into a couch.

"It can't be helped since you're so useless." Rin giggled. "So Santa's little helper, did something happen on the roof?"

"You need to get your chimney swept. All that tar build up almost got me killed, and whose stupid idea was this? Why do I have to be Santa of all people?"

"Well you already have the white hair, so it seems the role fits you perfectly."

"Don't be absurd, anyone could have done this, and I got soot all over me."

"Oh, stop complaining. You can just dust it off and take a bath later."

"Wait, leave my hair alone."

Archer tried to fight off Rin's advance. Seeing him resist so much, Rin jumped on top of the servant and tousled his white head. She laughed as Archer tried to throw the maniacal girl off of him.

His hand slipped, and Rin fell into Archer's lap. Archer's face inches from hers, Rin was paralyzed in the spot. His hair all messy instead of being spiked up; he looked awfully more familiar to her. Like she knew him from somewhere a long time ago, but before she could give it more thought, a bright flash snapped Rin's attention. A little boy held a camera in between his tiny hands.

Rin's face turning red as her dress, stared at the little boy, and the little boy stared back, knowing he had done something he should not have done.

"C-camera…" Rin stuttered. The boy took two cautious steps back. "Give me that camera!" Rin took off after the boy, who happened to take a compromising photo of Rin.

--

"Cheers!" Fuji-nee chugged down her tall glass. The barley tea refreshed the sensei's pallet. Even if it is Christmas, the Fuji-nee would not allow a single drop of alcohol to pass through this underage home.

An alert, Fuji-nee scoured through the rows of food and treats. Her sensei-like instincts were tingling; warning of trouble that would disturb tonight's festive. And may god have mercy upon those who disrupts this hallowed night when the Tiger is on the prowl.

There, at the third table closest to the Christmas tree. Tall bottles of Sake, Vodka, Whiskey, and more alcoholic beverages were lined up against the Servant Rider. "Rider-san, confiscated!"

"No, leave my booze alone, cretin!"

Next to the Christmas tree, the guys helped each other place the last of the ornaments onto the tree. Lancer, using his Gae Bolg, added the finishing touch, a shining star on top of the tree. "Heh-heh, this is actually kind of fun." Lancer opined.

"Thanks for the hard work everyone." The ladies brought out the drinks, each wearing the garments of the Christmas goddess.

"Damn it, this is ten times better than heaven!" cried Lancer.

"Don't even think about doing anything, I keeping an eye out especially on you." Archer warned.

"Are you gay, man? You have to be some kind of fag not taking advantage of this night. Ho-ho, look over there." Lancer pointed out for Archer; Rin's slender figure hugged by silky red fabrics like a wet blanket.

"Sword of Heaven… when did she?" Archer plugged his bloody nose.

"She actually put the damn piece of clothes on. But how can I say… it doesn't her suit her well." Lancer sighed with disappointment.

"And that's supposed to mean?"

"Just look over here," Lancer turned Archer's head. Rider and Sakura's Garden of Eden, otherwise known as their bouncing bosom according to normal perspective, shimmered with healthy skin. "That hourglass figure, the bubbly appeal of their bottoms, the shapely curves of their busts, it's more than a man can ever dream for."

"Ero-Servant."

Lancer smacked Archer. "Look who's talking! You may as well be a half-fledged lolicon with your master's figure."

"What the hell?!"

"Isn't it true? If she were a little shorter, you would be the biggest pervert in this room, Servant Arch—ah?" Someone pulled on Lancer's ear, dragging him across the floor. "Ah-ah-ah! Who the fu—?"

Lancer was about to scream bloody murder until he came face to face with… his original master. A right hook knocked him over the living room couch. To Lancer's surprise, Bazett and Caren stood at the living room entrance. "M-master, what the hell are you doing here?"

Caren kneeled next to the Servant and whispered, "It's impolite to use such foul language my little pet." Lancer began to sweat nervously as the silver haired beauty stroked his head.

"Excuse me, but I am not your pet."

"Enough Lancer, I can't keep an eye off of you even for a minute or else you'll molest some innocent girl." Groaned Bazett.

"Master, I am hurt that you would think of me as such a person." Lancer clutched his fragile heart, as if he felt a spear pierce him.

"Lancer, I did not know you had a master." Rider said, joining the avid conversation.

"Who's this?" Caren cleverly asked, and Bazett glare grew more ferocious, seeing the unfamiliar girl with a better physique than her own… much better.

Across the room, everybody else began to gorge themselves with Christmas dinner. Everything specially made by Shiro and Archer with Saber and Rin's help. Sakura squealed with every savoring bite.

"Archer-san, your cooking is so wonderful. I could have sworn sempai made this ham." Sakura melted from the tastiness.

"I would like know that as well Servant Archer. Your cooking tastes just as good as Shiro's. And I can tell you now, I know Shiro's cooking especially well." Saber munched.

Archer tried to hide himself, a certain identity crisis about to befall him. Rin cornered the Servant, demanding to know where he learned how to cook so well and to teach her. If the reader's haven't figured it out, Our Rin is oblivious to the fact that Archer and Shiro are in essence one and the same.

The Servant laughed it off, saying that it's merely coincidence and that Christmas dinner tasted all the same, but Rin didn't take the bait. She began to give different suggestions, and the every next idea coming eerily closer to the truth. "Did you learn how to cook when you were young? Did you live by yourself or something? Hm, maybe you picked some tips off of a friend, or maybe you knew Shiro or something in your past life… kidding!"

Archer nearly had a heart attack, thinking he was almost caught.

"What are you little munchkins doing together, and Tosaka-san all over Mr. Archer over here?" Fuji-nee came rolling along, her speech slurred.

"Ugh, is that alcohol, Sensei? You've been drinking?!" Rin tried to calm the rampant sensei.

"No worry, no worry! It's only grape juice!"

"That's wine!"

"Wire? Fire? Oh, look! I see a fire!" Fuji-nee dashed towards the fireplace in a drunken stumble. "Now see here Mr. Archer. I don't like the way you're always near Tosaka-san." Fuji-nee wobbles back. "What are you, some kind of lover to her?"

"D-d-don't be ridiculous! He's my Servant, Ser-vant!" Rin blushed ear to ear.

"Sah-vahn-too? What the heck's that, a butler?" giggled Fuji-nee.

"Y-yeah, that's it! He's my butler."

"O-reelly? Den he mus' doo lots' a'sh-things, eh? Like…" Fuji-nee made a weird squeezing gesture. Rin and Archer stared, trying to decipher Fuji-nee's unusual dance. Then it hit him.

"Oh, do mean this?" Archer made a similar groping motion.

"Yeah-yeah! Like this!" Fuji-nee begins to pound her fist. Rin wondered if the both of them had gone crazy.

"Then the answers yes, I do it hard to her almost every night."

The Christmas music scratched to a stop. The warmth of the fireplace died. Forks and chopsticks clattered on the floor. All eyes grew bigger than Shiro's bowl of banana cream pudding. And Rin's face glowed brighter than a Christmas light.

"Y-… yo-… you disgusting Servant!" Rin's hand firmly grasped a bottle of fine Gin. Archer dodged for his life as Rin tried to kill her own Servant.

"What the heck? Why is Tosaka-san getting mad? Oh, I get it. She didn't want everybody to know that Mr. Archer gave her a really good massage."

One by one, Master and Servant began to laugh as Rin and Archer were the only one still playing their charades. On this delightful, fun-filled night, as we share warm moments with our loved ones.

"Merry Christmas!" To and from the wonderful peoples of Fate Stay Night.

* * *

Will be reposted since the author lacked the time to put all of the extras… but other than that, have a very Merry Christmas!

Update: Will not be updated, sorry! Lots of stuff going on, and... yeah.


End file.
